just give me a reason | f. torres

Reason 9

"'Cause all of me, loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning. 'Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you."

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231114

Dear Nando,

It's been over a month since I last wrote to you...

I'm tired of being without you; I'm tired of sneaking around with the fact that I love you. I'm not sure if I mentioned it in any other letter, but I do Nando, I love you with all my heart, I love you Nando, always have, always will.

So if the fact that I love you isn't a good reason for you to stay with me, then I don't know anymore. I'm tired of fighting for something that will never be mine anyway. So Nando the tenth letter will come very close to this one, because I'm tired of holding on to you when you've clearly moved on from me.

I love you, I really do, and I will probably always do so, but I need to make myself happy, I need to move on. It will be hard it will be so ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) hard to do so. But I will try, for my own sake.

Because what does it matter if I love you to the moon and back again, when you are clearly happy with your wife. I'm not sure if you guys have worked all of your problems out, but if you have, that's great for you.

I guess you can blame me for the fact that you are still fighting with you wife, I guess the feelings you felt for me messed up your relationship with her even more. But I'm not the least sorry Nando, because I loved you, and I still do.

I guess she loves you too, deep down she really does, or she would have left you by now. But no one will ever be able to love you as much as I do Nando. So come back to me, come back to the person who loves you more than anything, come back and let me love you. Because your wife will never be able to love you the way I do.

Because you saved me Nando, that night when we met at the pub. You saved me from myself. You gave me a friend, someone I could trust, but you also gave me so much more, you gave me someone I could love.

This letter is so ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) messy, with tearstains and some shitty hand writing, and no clear path to where I want to get with this letter. But I don't care, because the only thing that matters is that I love you, but also that I'm tired of loving someone whom I'm dead to. Come back to me Nando, or I will force myself to move on. It doesn't matter how ёбаный (YO-ba-neey -> fucking) hard it will be, I will move on from you, but never stop loving you.

Love, always, Le

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This chapter is dedicated to Sam because she is awesome and a culé like me.

So I'm off to Barcelona for six days, so the next update will come when I'm home again on Tuesday, hope you'll have a great week xx Liza