Rebels: Ahsoka's Reality

There's A Pain

"I feel so lost. I don't know how to tell him. I don't know how to tell him I love him. I don't know how to tell him how much he meant to me. Rex, this is so hard to come up with a plan. I know I should have the improvisation of him after learning from him for so long, but it all seems so lost. I can't think straight while the situation is about him. I can't clearly devise any plan while I have the knowledge that the man I loved is now the biggest threat to the galaxy and has done horrible things." Ahsoka paced back and forth as she thought about what to say. It had been a few days since her and Rex's meeting with Obi-Wan, and they were still on Tatooine. She knew they had to move swiftly and be as proficient as possible, but there was something about him that blocked her thought process.

Ahsoka was outside of their ship, the night of the desert planet was a very cool night. The temperature was a crisp feeling, when she inhaled she could smell a fire, but she couldn't see one. It must be over that ridge, she thought. Inhaling once more, much deeper this time, she could feel the cool air surround her body, the smell of the season overpowered the burning fire a ways away from her, and she felt at peace. The distress was come to a wind down. She knew it was time to meditate while she had the chance. It's not very often the anxieties leave her. She hated the anxious feeling she would get. It was a rush of adrenaline she didn't ask for, her body becoming cold while her brow would sweat profusely. She would shake and her arms would feel weak while her legs felt heavy and grounded. The air would always somehow feel thicker, not as though she couldn't breathe, but as though there was a pressure on her chest that held it down to a point as if she was almost gasping for air.

Now though, was a time for relaxation and mediation. She knelt on the cold sand, placing her hands on her knees. Letting out a slow exhale, her breathe became visible as the temperature on the mostly desolate planet dropped. Closing her eyes she allowed herself to give in to the force.

**

19 BBY

"I feel so lost. I don't know how to tell her. I don't know how to tell her I love her. I don't know how to tell her how much she means to me. Rex, please, you've got to help me. I'm supposed to be the hero without fear, and here I am, terrified of how to tell Ahsoka I love her." Anakin exhaled and looked over to Rex, "Hey, Rex, I've got something to ask you."

Rex cocked and eyebrow and inquisitively gazed at his General, "Yes, sir?"

"It'll only be a moment, then I'll let you go with Ahsoka to Mandalore, sorry to hold you up." Rex nodded, and Anakin took that as a queue to continue, but couldn't find the words. Even though he practiced a terrible so called, "speech", in his head, he couldn't think of anything to say and realized he was even afraid to tell Rex, someone who he trusts with his life. "Keep Ahsoka Safe for me?"

Rex's forehead creased with an expression of confusion, "Is that... all, sir?"

Anakin's eyes closed and his head tilted as he held up and hand to halt Rex's movement, "No, no, it isn't." He paused. He inhaled slowly, and exhaled even slower. It's not very often the anxieties leave him. He hated the anxious feeling he would get. It was a rush of adrenaline he didn't ask for, being the adrenaline fiend he was, his body becoming cold while his brow sweat profusely. He would shake and his arms felt weak while his legs felt heavy and grounded. The air would always somehow feel thicker, not as though he couldn't breathe, but as though there was a pressure on his chest that held it down to a point as if he was almost gasping for air. "Rex, could you tell Ahsoka-" He was cut off by Rex who smiled before placing his helmet on, "I will, sir."

"Thank you, Rex." Anakin smiled and felt the pressure on his chest lift. He knew Rex wouldn't fail him, however he was curious, "You do know what I want you to convey to her right?"

Rex held up his dual DC-17 and nodded, "Sir, I may be a manufactured clone with strict and specific programming, but I know what love is. Now if you'll excuse me," He then turned and rushed towards the departing ship, "we've got a planet to save."

The Chosen One watched as his friend boarded the ship with the woman he loved, and it would be the last time he saw them as Anakin Skywalker. He about-faced, and walked the opposite direction not knowing what the ensuing days would bring. He knew nothing of the fate the would befall him, but he stopped. He looked over he shoulder, thinking he had heard something. It sounded like a familiar voice, but an old one. A voice he had not heard in a long time. The voice of Qui-Gon. He paused a moment and reached out with the force. Searching for the voice he thought he heard, but soon, nothing. He shrugged his shoulders, and moved on.

**

Rex heard a noise coming from outside the ship. It was a strange, yet beautiful noise. It was unlike anything he had heard before, but it was familiar. As he approached the ramp and pressed the button to lower it, he could make out what it was. He was greeted by the voice of Ahsoka, she was singing, and wearing a bit of clothing that he thought looked familiar:

"I am lost in a rainbow
Now our rainbow is gone
Overcast by your shadow
As our worlds move on
In this shirt I can be you
To be near you for a while
In this shirt I can be you
To be near you for a while
There's a crane knocking down
All these things that we were
I awake in the night to
Hear the engines pout
There's a pain it does ripple
Through my frame makes me lame
There's a thorn in my side
It's the shape it's the prize
Of you and me ever changing
Moving on now moving fast
And this touch must be wanting
Must become free to act
But I mean jape to tell you
That I love you and never rash
And I bled everyday now
For a year for a year
I did send you a note
On the wind for to read
Our names there together
Must've fallen like the sea
To depths of the soil
Buried deep in the ground
On the wind I can hear you
Call my name held the sound
I am lost
I am lost in a rainbow
No a rainbow is gone
I am lost in a rainbow
No a rainbow is gone
I am lost, I am lost
I am lost, I am lost
I am lost"

Rex crossed his arms with concern, "Sir," he said softly, "the was beautiful."

She turned around and opened her eyes, he frightened her because she hadn't sensed him, being too deep into thought and mediation, "Thank you, I'm sorry I didn't hear you coming."

"Well, don't be sorry, but you should really come inside, it's freezing out here." He gestured his arm towards the opening of the ship as she stood up and started up the ramp, "after you, sir." He got a good look at what she was wearing, "Sir," he pointed to her top, "is that?"

She lowered her head and grabbed onto it lightly, "Anakin's, yes, I found it."