BakuDeku Short Stories

Let Me Die

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*WARNING*

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*SENSITIVE CONTENT!!!*
(Self harm, suicidal thoughts and suicide ahead!!)

(If you have any suicidal thoughts or if you have attempted PLEASE! call this number)

*Suicide Prevention Lifeline Number*
[1-800-273-8255 (TALK)]

*And please! If you do feel this way, reach out to others! My Dms are open to anyone!*

*Now Continue*
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"Deku?" He opened his eyes to see Katsuki, standing over his bed. It was a bit strange at first, how he was there, but when he started to look around, he noticed that he wasn't in his room. The room he was in had white walls, a metal table to his right side that held a vase full of white roses and a glass of water. There was also a huge window that took up most of the right wall, which was also lined with blue chairs. In front of his bed was a bathroom and to his left was a wall and a door that lead to the supposed hallway. Freaking out a bit, he found himself looking down at his arms, seeing wraps around his left arm and a few stitches on his right hand (from the razor).

"Kacchan? Where am I? What happened?" He asked, breathing heavily. The heart monitor began picking up pace as he went into a panic attack. Katsuki backed up slowly, not knowing how to react. Soon after nurses and a doctor rushed in by Izuku's side as they tried to calm him and also injecting him with a calming serum. The nurses directed Kacchan to a chair next to his bed after that, making sure he was alright as well before leaving them alone. Ever since they first started to become friends, he's never seen this side to him. It's like he didn't even know him at all. He started to think it was all his fault, for bullying him for all these years, making him feel like absolute trash. Katsuki has always regretted his actions back then, he's been trying to make up for it, and for a year now he almost has. No more anger issues, they all seemed to vanish as soon as Izuku accepted him as a friend. Just like they were kids again, but this time will be different.

Katsuki's hand finds his way on Izuku's hand as his eyes slowly open and close. The shot has wore him down entirely, so it took him a lot of energy to keep his eyes open. It was a sad sight to see. His dark eyebags, his pale face, boney arms, and him struggling to stay awake even if he was super tired. Anger from long ago was seeping out of Katsuki as he watched his best friend crumble, and it was all because of him. He felt like such a terrible friend, all these years and yet no apology, no reason why he even bullied him. And now, because of him, he tried to kill himself. It was all. Kacchan.

Katsuki stood up aggressively and went over to a wall. Then almost instantly he began punching it. "Fuck!" He shouted as his hand retracted from the wall. With a growl he began pounding that same wall, letting his pent up anger out. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuccckkk!" He groaned out. He felt so angry in this moment, no matter the pain he felt in his knuckles, he kept on punching, over and over again. He only stopped once he felt a hand on his arm, holding back another punch. Angrily, he turned around to see Izuku, standing up and swaying side to side. Just like that, his anger resided and he once again felt at peace. A light smile replaced his snarl as he looked down at Deku. "Kacchan..." He said tiredly, then he collapsed, only to be caught by Katsuki.

They made their way slowly back to the bed, making sure Deku was still conscious. He laid him down, and made sure everything was still in Izuku (the needle and the heart monitor). After that Katsuki sighed and sat down, that was a bit scary to him, seeing Deku collapse like that, even out of the blue. If he hadn't been fast enough, he could've gotten seriously hurt 'what was that nerd even thinking?'.

"Why Kacchan? After all this time?" Izuku asked, his head turned to Bakugou as he sat down in the same chair as before. Katsuki was utterly confused with that question.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't vented out your anger in a year and a half... Why?" His eyes widened. 'Why is he asking me this? isn't it obvious?' Kacchan put his hand on Deku's and opened his mouth but closing it. He wasn't quite sure how he should respond to that question.

"I-I... It was to protect you..." He let out, his heart swelling with overwhelming guilt. "In the past, I let my anger out freely and it only hurt you, so I didn't let it out again." He continued. "But now I come to realize that you couldn't escape the past... and now.. y-you're.." Tears began to pour out of his eyes as he lay his head into the blankets of the bed. Izuku was a bit astonished by what he said, and how much he actually meant it. "This is all because of me!" He yelled into the sheets.

Izuku pressed his hand on Katsuki's back, rubbing gentle circles. He never knew after all this time, Katsuki felt the guilt of what happened long ago, the pain of the past haunted his as well, not just Izuku. Deku smiled lightly, It was heart-warming that he cared so much for him. It brought tears to Izu's eyes knowing this. "Kacchan..." He said, lifting his head from the sheets. They stared at each other for a bit, looking for emotion. "It's not your fault. It is only mine, you moved on, but I couldn't." Katsuki shook his head, being a bit angry that he blamed himself. "I'm glad that I'm alive. If it weren't for you Kacchan."

"Stop it." Katsuki cut off. "I never apologized for my actions back then. Never even gave you a reason..." Breathing in a deep breath, he continued. "I'm super sorry Izuku. For everything I've done. And to be honest, I never moved on either, guilt and karma followed me." Katsuki lifted his sleeve to show multiple scars on his forearms. Izuku gasped and felt then with his fingers, feeling each rough patch of skin. "It could never forgive myself. And the reason why was because I could never escape the way I felt about you. Not now, not before, and definitely not forever." Silence followed after that. They stared at each other, feeling a strong emotion that they have never felt before. "I loved you Deku, and I still do. I could never escape those feelings, even after bullying you for so many years. Just whenever I looked at your cute face, your beautiful eyes, I always found myself attracted to you."

Tears streamed from Izuku's eyes as he listened. He understood why now. All these years Katsuki has been disgusted in himself, confused about his feelings. "I-I love you too Kacchan. Even if our past is terrible. I have always and will always love you." He replied. It had been a true statement. Through the bullying and torment, he had always looked up to Kacchan and had a huge crush on him.

"How do you forgive so easily Deku?" Katsuki asked, a bit angry.

"Because if I had to choose between you and regret. I'd choose you."

THE END
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