Chapter 23: Garen

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Chapter 23: Garen

    Garen felt incredibly stressed. In fact, he'd felt stressed ever since Payne had delivered Vanning's ultimatum. Just the thought of having to work for Vanning was enough to make him nauseous, but despite the time he'd had to think since then, he hadn't come up with any bright ideas. Hadn't thought of a single thing that would get him out of this. He had to protect Jayna, that was the single overriding thought that kept working its way through his mind. And he didn't know how else to do that. Maybe they really should just run. Pack up everything and go. Find some small town to live in together. But could he really give up being a freak? To be honest, he wasn't completely sure. But he was reaching the point of being willing to try.

    If only something had gone wrong with Vanning's deal with Harken, maybe all his problems could've been solved. But no, word had already spread that Masters' attack had been crushed, which meant Vanning had held up his end of the bargain. And that meant his position in the city was secure, Harken would let up on the pressure she'd been placing on him. So if Garen wanted Jayna safe, what other choices did he have but to work for Vanning or run?

    He'd been called by Payne, earlier that day. Payne had wanted to know if he'd made his decision yet, and Garen had tried to play for more time. Payne had informed him that Vanning was willing to grant him a bit more time to think, if Garen would do a task for him in return as a token of his good will. It was a power play, a show of dominance. Vanning wanted an acknowledgement that he was the boss, he wanted Garen to submit, to serve. And Vanning had to believe that if Garen agreed to do one job for him, it was practically in the bag that Garen would eventually agree to work for him permanently.

    The job was for Garen to kill a human, a sixteen year old boy. Garen didn't know why Vanning wanted him dead, and the truth was he'd probably never know. If it wasn't relevant to the job, and apparently it wasn't, Vanning wasn't going to tell him such things. He hadn't been ordered to recover any stolen items, or destroy any incriminating evidence, just kill the kid.

    Garen was still debating with himself over what to do. And he was doing it while tailing the kid in question. He'd staked out the kid's house, followed him when he left. The boy had met up with a girl of around the same age at the mall, who Garen assumed was his girlfriend, and they'd spent the last hour or so shopping together, though the kid looked far more interested in the girl than in the shopping. Garen had figured the sight of the kid might help him come to a decision, might give him some clarity of thought. But he still hadn't managed to make up his mind. What he was noticing was that watching the two of them together kept making him think of Jayna, and the more he thought about her the more he found he couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt.

    Garen kept trying to convince himself that if he did this it really would just gain him the time he wanted, that it wouldn't mean he'd eventually submit to working as Vanning's double agent, but he had a hard time managing it. He knew that if he did this it would be that much easier to say yes again later, that if he tolerated the way it made him feel now, he'd feel almost resigned to forcing himself to tolerate it permanently. But leaving, leaving wouldn't just be hard on him, it'd be hard on Jayna. Having to transfer universities, having to give up her family and friends. What right did he have to do that to her when there was another solution available if he could just bring himself to stomach it?

    On impulse, Garen pulled out his cellphone, quickly selecting Jayna from his contact list and having it dial. Raising the phone to his ear, it didn't even ring before her voice mail picked up. She must be in class with her phone turned off, and he couldn't bother her with something like this when all he'd wanted was to hear her voice. "Jayna, I... I love you. Hope you're having a good day. Guess we'll talk later. Bye," was all the message Garen could bring himself to leave before ending the call.

    It was only a few seconds later that he spotted the couple coming out of the shop they'd been in. Garen was further down the hall, leaning against a wall. They hadn't noticed that he'd been following them, but then he didn't need to get that close to keep track of them, and he never went into the stores after them. After all, they had to come back out eventually. He gave them a few seconds to start walking down the hall away from him before he stepped away from the wall and resumed following them, only needing the occasional glimpses he caught of them through the press of people between them to stay on their trail.

    He was going to have to do this, he knew that now. It was the only conclusion he could come to. He couldn't worry about how it might affect his later decision, for now he needed more time. If he wound up being unable to bring himself to say no later, then so be it. He'd worry about that road when he came to it. He couldn't risk Jayna. He had to buy more time.

    The boy and girl stopped for a second up against the wall of one of the shops to share a brief kiss, and Garen felt a jolt of uneasiness. God, he was becoming so weak. His relationship with Jayna was making him weak, and he knew it. Now he was going to feel bad over killing a human? He'd killed plenty of humans before, and he'd long since gotten over feeling remorse or regret or guilt over things like that. If he started letting things like two humans caring for each other get to him, he wouldn't be able to function as a freak, not in the society he lived in.

    Garen took a few deep breaths, driving out the thoughts and clearing his mind. He strove for the mindset and the feelings he'd had and embraced for so long. The kid was just a human, nothing more. Just another human dead, to join all the others dying in the world. They all had people who cared about them, people who'd miss them, so what? It changed nothing. The world would move forward without them. Steeling himself, Garen quickened his step, weaving his way through the crowd and beginning to close on the couple.

    He already knew how he'd do it. Pass by them in the crowd, one quick motion too fast for the surrounding humans to follow to grasp the kid's neck and snap it, and walk on through the crowd without stopping. All he had to do was make sure he was nowhere within range of a security camera.

    He was just nearing the couple when his cellphone rang. He didn't use personalized ringtones, so his first thought was to wonder whether Jayna had already gotten out of class and was calling him back, but as he slipped it back out of his pocket and glanced at the display, he was surprised by the ID he saw. Turning the phone on and raising it to his ear, he spoke carefully. "Angela, I heard about your victory over Hugh Masters. You have my congratulations."

    "Thank you, Garen. I appreciate that, but it's not why I called," Angela Harken's voice came through.

    "Then what is the purpose of the call, may I ask?" Garen queried, slowing his step a bit to drop back in the crowd. He couldn't help but feel worried. Was it possible she'd found out that Vanning was putting pressure on him to turn into a double agent? Even if that was the case though, he hadn't actually done anything yet, right? He hadn't accepted Vanning's offer, and as close as he might've been, he hadn't killed the kid for Vanning yet. It was true he hadn't told her about Vanning's ultimatum, but she couldn't hold him responsible for that when he hadn't accepted, could she?

    "Our last talk was left a little unfinished," Angela began, and Garen found he couldn't stop listening to what she had to say.

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