Imagine Whoever You Want

INSANE

"someone gives me love and I throw it all away. tell me have I gone insane?"

After months of delay, a week after my seventeenth birthday, I finally have my drivers license. Freedom to go anywhere. Except I woke up today, to find I couldn't actually go anywhere. My car was out of oil.

Before I was allowed to go anywhere my dad had quickly checked under the hood of my black Acura MDX. When he checked the oil, he said "that's bone dry."

He failed to really explain to me how to fix this problem. Apparently he was to busy to deal with me and my car illiteracy.

Instead he looked at me and said "go to Autozone. They'll fix it right up" and he walked back into the house.

I stood there staring at my popped lid and parched engine, like a dumbass. I decided I could make it down the street to Autozone. I'd find someone there who would help. They would help because I'd pay them, of course, and they would probably judge my lack of knowledge too, but it's not like I had a choice. With a need for my car to not die, I grabbed my wallet and headed straight for Autozone.

I pulled into the Autozone parking lot and instantly my nose filled with the smells of oil and car exhaust. Autozone was a store for all things auto related, but it was also a car repair shop. After parking, I got out of my car and I walked past the car garage towards the store. Just as I passed the last of three large garage doors, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. For a moment I spotted a set of slim, yet muscley shoulders and long blonde hair peeking out from underneath a car. My mind instantly flashed back to a boy named Cash who I hooked up with at a party this past school year. In a town as small as mine I've known him since I was little, but 'known' is a loose term.

Once in elementary school I got us locked in the art closet together. On accident. Probably. We sat in there all day and by the time someone found us he told me "thank you" because apparently he hadn't wanted to go hone that night. And neither had I. But ever since then we seem to run into each other whenever we're in trouble or upset. We gravitate towards each other at parties. We drink together and then we spill secrets. Most of the time we're too drunk to remember in the morning. So secrets turn into making out. We had kind of a cycle at every party it seemed like. Party. Find each other. Talk. Drink. Talk while drunk. Make out. Feel better.

It's kind of weird especially when Cash Bradshaw is an infamous school skipper and I hardly ever saw him anywhere but parties and occasionally in the halls. I may party, but I am no school skipper. How could I maintain my straight A's if I did skip?

We have never really talked much outside of parties, but every time we saw each other it was easy. We just felt comfortable around one another I guess. But the last party I saw him at, was different.

We were both so down and so drunk. He flashed his blue eyes at me and all of a sudden I was waking up in his truck. He drove me home and I haven't seen or heard from him since. He never called. He never answered when I called him. Kind of a dick move. I've spent the last two months thinking about every possible thing I could have done wrong that night. Which is not a fun thing to do, but I'd gotten over it. Right?

Anyways I kept my eyes forward and headed into the store hoping and praying that my eyes had deceived me and it wasn't him.

The metal doors were cool and heavy as I shoved them open. It was an intimidating atmosphere, for a pretty teenager wearing leggings, vans, and a cropped t shirt. Truckers and car addicts stared at me as I walked in. Or maybe no one noticed me and I'm just paranoid.