The Poisoned Throne

Chapter 32

Joshua

“So this is what a Temple looks like from the inside, then?”

Joshua looked up from his prayer and groaned at the sight of Alfred in the doorway. “This is a holy building,” he said, struggling to his feet. “Don’t you have any respect.”

Alfred seemed confused, but only sarcastically so. “I am sorry.”

“The Temples are reserved for the faithful.” Joshua walked towards Alfred and gestured towards the door. “So I’m afraid you will have to go,” he added when Alfred did not move.

Alfred raised his hands, and looked around the room with wide eyes. “Where are all the faithful, then?”

Joshua groaned again. “Celebrating the quick end to the war.”

“And the quick end to many lives,” Alfred pointed out. “But I suppose you’re right. The faithful only ever seem to be particularly faithful in times of need.”

“Because that’s when we need the gods,” Joshua said. “The gods are there to comfort us and help us through hard times. The Sun is the light in the dark.” He sighed and walked past Alfred towards the door. “Now will you leave?”

Alfred smiled as though he had just gotten an idea. “If you walk with me.”

Joshua sighed and walked out of the Temple. Alfred followed him, quickly catching up with him.

“So, what are your plans now that Evelyn won?” Joshua asked.

“First of all, Evelyn did not win on her own,” Alfred began before shrugging. “As for how I’ll proceed, I have a plan for that.”

Joshua glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and saw the self-satisfied smirk before it was erased. “You are terribly arrogant. Did you know that?” he asked. When Alfred seemed surprised, he continued, “It is not something that you would realize at first. You have a certain charm that covers it up, but you are.

Alfred quirked an eyebrow. “You find me charming?”

Joshua glared at him. “What do you think?”

“I think you do,” he replied.

With a sigh, Joshua went through and arched doorway into a smaller garden. “Why are you even here?” he asked. “All the other ambassadors left a long time ago.”

“Perhaps I stayed for you.”

When Joshua turned his head to stare at him, he smiled and nodded.

“You and your long eyelashes and big, innocent eyes,” he said. “You’re like a deer - a rather panicked deer, but a deer.”

Joshua stopped walking. “Stop that,” he said firmly.

“What?”

“Lying to me,” he said. “Stop treating me like an idiot. Stop joking as though you think I don’t know about what men and women do behind closed doors, or what sometimes two men or two women do.”

Alfred raised an eyebrow. “You seem flustered.”

Joshua stepped backwards. “Tell me why you’re really here,” he said, “or I’ll leave again.”

Alfred chuckled. “Does that mean there is free passage to the Temple?”

“Yes.”

He sighed and rubbed his palms together. “Right, then,” he said. “I’m here for Lady Mary. She is my friend, and, more importantly, she should be Queen. She was born and raised for it, and somehow she managed to grow up in Westhall without becoming a depraved murderer.”

Joshua snorted. “You stayed to make her Queen?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” Alfred stepped towards him, arms raised convincingly. “Joshua, I came to make her Queen.”

Joshua blinked. “Really?”

Alfred nodded. “Maybe I’m arrogant, and maybe I joke with you, but there are things I take seriously,” he said. “This is what I care for - all that I care for - and it is my mission to put Mary on that throne with whatever means available.”

Joshua narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Because it’s what Etheron needs,” he said, and for once, his voice was emptied for jokes and warmth and charm. All that was left was him and his words. Honesty. “We need peace, and I truly believe she has become a symbol that might bring exactly that.”

Joshua nodded to himself. Whether it was true or not, he wanted enough for it to be true, so he decided to believe it. “And that’s all you care for?”

“Well,” Alfred said, “almost all I care for.”

Joshua let out a disbelieving laughter. “Really? I really thought you were ready to be honest with me and you…”

Alfred’s lips covered Joshua’s, making it very complicated to speak. He let his eyes fall closed while Alfred moved against him for a moment until he pushed him away.

“Did that feel like a lie?” Alfred asked, leaning forwards slightly.

Joshua shook his head - once more in disbelief rather than in answer to Alfred’s question - and brushed past him on his way to a door that led inside the castle.

His heart was pumping by the time he reached his room. He had known, of course, that Alfred had been interested. This, however, this he had not expected. He fell onto his knees on the floor and clenched his eyes shut, tears spilling.

Control yourself, he thought to himself. It was just a kiss. It didn’t hurt you. It was meant to be loving and…

But Joshua did not feel loved; he felt sick. He felt as though, with a kiss, Alfred had covered him in earthly dirt. His body still felt locked. Every joint in his body seemed frozen, stuck in place, the way he had been.

You could have just walked away. He wasn’t stopping you. Why did you not just walk away?

But he had not wanted to walk away; he had wanted to fall. He had wanted to be sick. He had wanted for that moment to never have begun. He had felt out of place in his own sick, like something crawled beneath it, crippling him.

The knock on the door made him jump back into the present.

“Joshua, I…” Cecily stopped in her tracks at the sight of his red-brimmed eyes. “Joshua, are you alright?”

He gasped for breath. “He… He— Your brother, he kissed me.”

The words seemed to take with them a heavy weight as they flew from his lips. She knelt down in front of him, smiling.

“Why are you crying?” she asked.

He swallowed deeply and tried to control his insides. “He, uhm… It felt…” He cleared his throat. “I feel sick.”

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “You’re…”

“I feel like my skin is crawling off me,” he whispered.

Cecily took his hand. “Did it really…” She stopped herself, shook her head, wetted her lips and nodded. “I won’t let him come close to you again. Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Okay.”

That night, he prayed for everyone who had the kindness in their hearts to pray for strangers, and he prayed for his loved ones and those dead in war, and he prayed that he would never have to look Alfred in the eyes again. But more than anything, he prayed for Cecily, because beneath her careless facade, much more kindness was hidden than there was to be found in any of her brother’s bones.