(Just quickly: i listened to two songs while writing this chapter, & i recommend you listen to the same. The first song is around 6 minutes long oops
To Build a Home- Cinematic Orchestra
Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
I also recommend that you make sure you listen to chasing cars towards the end of this chapter
-t.)
---
Zayn.
~
It had been three days since Zayn last spoke to Diana. He figured she knew that his father didn't have much time left.
Yesterday the doctors told him that they couldn't do anything to save his father; that he shouldn't need to suffer anymore.
They agreed that today would be his last day. One last day for Zayn to spend time with him. One last day for Zayn to say goodbye.
Placing his hand over his father's, he rubbed his thumb over the wrinkled skin, watching as his touch turned it pale. He remembered how when he was little, his father used to hold Zayn's hand crossing the road; always careful not to let him out of his sight. His father used to be so full of life; he used to chase Zayn around the small backyard, their laughter reverberating off the brick house. Zayn remembered that whenever he fell over in these wonderful games, his father would sit next to his crying self, holding whatever he hurt and whispering "everything will be okay" into his ear over and over, until they both got up and began playing all over again.
Zayn wished his father could say that to him now.
It was 11 o'clock exactly; the blinds were open, letting light into the small hospital room. The greenery outside created contrast against the starch white walls inside. Zayn remembered the garden his father and him created before he got sick the first time. They planted so many beautiful flowers: from tiny poppies to giant sunflowers.
"Do you remember that day?" he asked his father, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, "That day you were perfectly well; you ran around the garden with me and watched as I chased the butterflies. You laughed a lot that day, father, you actually laughed" Zayn grinned at the thought. "I haven't seen the same smile since-" he choked, barely getting the words out.
He felt it was silly to be talking to someone who couldn't hear him, but he knew he wouldn't get the chance again. He closed his eyes, thinking back to when his father was first diagnosed. It was late at night, and he was so tired... back then he didn't understand what was happening, and all Zayn wanted to do was go home and watch funny movies with his father until they fell asleep in each other's arms. Opening his eyes, he focused on every part of his father's face, locking them into his brain, wanting to remember their last day together forever. Studying his eyes, Zayn remember how full of life they once were. Sunshine used to bounce in his iris', and the sides of his eyes used to crinkle when he smiled. His father had a beautiful smile.
It was then when the nurses and doctor walked into the room, their faces grave.
"It's time" they spoke, looking down.
Zayn turned to face his father again, placing a hand on his cheek, caressing the wrinkled skin. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath, slowing inhaling his father's scent for the last time. As he exhaled, he released all the bad things he ever told his father. He exhaled all his bad memories: the crying, the screaming, the flying fists. He exhaled all the terrible coversations that went on between his father and his older sister when they thought Zayn was asleep; those conversations full of worry and doubt.
Looking up at the doctor with tears rolling down his cheeks, he nodded, letting him know it was okay.
He watched on as they turned off life support, as his father's heartbeat slowed, as more tears streamed down Zayn's face.
"Wait" he choked out, barely able to speak as his father was slowly letting go. "Wait! Don't go Dad!" Zayn screamed before he lurched onto the bed, shaking his fathers shoulders, trying to keep him here.
"Dad! No! Dad..." he softly spoke, laying down on top of the lifeless body beneath him. His breathing increased as more tears fell, staining the hospital gown his father had been in for weeks. His hands began to shake as he grabbed ahold of his father's, interlocking their fingers, muttering the song to himself that they used to sing before he fell asleep.
"Let's waste time..." he softly sang, his voice a mixture of tears and sadness.
"Chasing cars..." Zayn began to rock back and forth, to try and numb the pain.
"Around our heads-" he managed to finish, before an overwhelming sickness came over him. His stomach lurched as he sat up, climbing off of his father's body. Gently stroking his face for the last time, he turned towards the doctors surrounding him, all their faces coated with tears.
Zayn nodded at them, making a mental note to thank them properly later.
Grabbing the family picture and his father's wedding band from the bedside table, he walked out of the room, his legs shaking with every step.
"You're in a better place now" he spoke to no one but himself, gently stroking the picture frame as a few tears dotted the glass.
"I love you, Dad."
