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thursday (2/2)

i just came back from my appointment. you seemed eager to talk to me. it took you a while to read all of the stuff that accumulated from the time i refused to see you. but after a while i heard my name get called, and that made me incredibly nervous.

you looked like you had a lot to say from the start. for some reason you didn't lecture me like usual; you kept it all in.

'it seems like you went through a roller coaster of emotions. so much hate, and now you're excited to be at school.'

well, it's mostly because i get to see minx every day, but its fine.

'this notebook you have is getting really old. there's only a few pages left anyways. i think you should get a new one.'

looking at my notebook, i nodded in agreement. the front cover was ripped in half and there was some sort of brown liquid (probably soda) that had spilled on it.

'maybe this could be more refreshing for you. not so many negative memories to relieve in detail, ya know?"

i did know. i started to keep a book mark where i left off so i didn't have to turn through all my sad entries.

'well, i put together this notebook for you. it's organized in a way that will help break your routine.'

hearing that made me nervous. the blue notebook was nothing like ive ever seen. each page had the date filled in, courtesy of my therapist. there was a small line underneath that allowed me to describe my mood for the day.

underneath, it had a question for me to answer. it was almost like a writing prompt, but with limited space and it was about me. underneath, was a section called 'THOUGHTS' where i could write about my day.

so i guess this is the last journal entry in this journal, where i somehow turned it into a routine. yes, the other is organized. but its in a way that will stop me from having the same process every day. its weird, and i'm not sure about it, but i'll give it a shot.

it's late so i guess i'll go to bed now. tomorrow is friday, and i have a date after school. can't wait!

- schlatt

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