Suddenly, You

eight

Tessa

I wanted so badly to tell Addison what I felt when she kissed me, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. It's been eating me alive for the past couple of weeks. At school, she's my teacher first, then my friend, and that's it, that's where the list ends. She wasn't trying to be my friend to turn it into anything more than friendship, so I need to suppress any and all thoughts and feelings regarding her in order to preserve our friendship.

"Tessa, nice work on your essay. Have you worked on any poetry recently?" Addison smiled at me, as I sat on the couch.

"I did. It's very rough, but—" I told her as I dug around in my backpack, until I found my notebook.

The poem was about her, but I hope she doesn't catch on to that. It was about the feelings I have, but need to hide. A part of me wishes she would catch on that's it's about her, then she'll admit her feelings for me, then we'll live happily ever after, but that'll never happen.

I watched her as she read it, smiling at her once she looked up at me.

"It's really good." She smiled.

"Really?" I asked.

"One of your best." She looked over the words again. "I wish I could write like this, I'd be a poet or a songwriter— anything to showcase this talent."

My heart tightened at her compliment. She's always told me that I was a good writer, but this felt deeper than ever before.

"You are going to make something of yourself." She looked into my eyes.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"How did things go with your mom this weekend?" She asked suddenly, as she sat next to me, making the conversation more intimate.

"I tried to talk to her, like you said, and it didn't work, but I did hug her and she didn't push me away, so—" I shrugged.

"Well, that's something." She smiled. "How did the hug make you feel?"

I felt tears sting my eyes, but I couldn't speak, so I just shook my head.

"Can I give you a hug?" She asked carefully.

I nodded, immediately feeling her arms around me, melting me to her. I hid my face in her shoulder, inhaling her scent.

"I missed her." I tried to muffle my cries.

"I know." She sounded sad.

One of her hands smoothed the hair on my head, while the other held me to her.

I pulled away, noticing the wet spot on her nice shirt.

"I'm sorry." I said, attempting to wipe the stain away.

"You're fine." She grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." I slightly laughed.

She rubbed my hand in hers, before leaving me to check on the other students in her room.

She's so kind, caring, and gentle. I want her. I want to love her as more than just a friend. I want to be the one she comes home to every night. Why did we have to meet under these circumstances? Everything I've ever wanted in life has never worked out in my favor, so I needed to stop this stupid fantasy, before I got caught up in my feelings for her.

I know I need to stop, but it's nearly impossible to actually follow through. My writing and art has been flooded by her recently. Everytime I pick up my pencil to draft a new piece, it's about her. And everytime I pick up my pencil to sketch out something new, it's either her or about her.