Suddenly, You

ten

Addison

"Hey, love, I'm sorry I haven't called you this week, it's been crazy busy. My— I'll tell you about it later. I was wondering if you wanted to come by for Christmas movie night. Izzy and Andre coming also— I just— I'd like you to be there too." My words came quickly after she answered the phone. My sister, Alyssa, was released from the psychiatric hospital just in time to have her kids spend Thanksgiving with us. It was nice to have them there, but incredibly uncomfortable to have her there. It was hard to know when to say something or when to keep your mouth shut. Which all brought up younger sister, Indie, and my older brother, Chase's, fight about Alyssa's treatment and custody of her kids. It was a mess and painful to experience, but it's family and I love them no matter what.

Still, I want to make sure Tessa feels wanted and important.

She needs to know that she has friends, people who care about her and want her around. I want to instill the idea that she is loved into her brain, because it's been deprived of that for years. She's gotten used to being alone and that doesn't sit well with me.

"I— I would really like that." She sounded somber.

"Really?" I smiled.

"Yeah, when?" She asked.

I gave her a window of time to come over, before hurrying to straighten up my apartment.

It wasn't for a few more hours, so I spent the rest of my time preparing the pull-out bed with blankets and pillows, making an assortment of finger foods and snacks, and checking to make sure there were enough drinks for everyone. I was excited to spend more time with her, everyone as well, but specifically her.

I opened my door to Izzy and Andre first. They were here for about ten minutes before Tessa arrived.

"Hey, you." I smiled at her.

"Hi." Her cheeks filled with a light pink tint.

I allowed her to enter and set her things down, before we moved into the living room to start movie night.

We picked out Last Christmas and The Polar Express to watch tonight.

Izzy and Andre settled in their spots with Andre on the end and Izzy in the middle, then I took the other end, which left Tessa between Izzy and I.

I got back up to grab the snacks and drinks for everyone, before turning off the lights, and finally settling in my spot.

Midway through the first movie, I went to reach for a pretzel, when my hand gently collided with another. I looked down and realized it was Tessa's, which only caused me to blush. I apologized quickly and took my hand away, letting her take her pretzels first.

"It's okay." She whispered with a smile on her face.

The smallest touch from her sent tingles throughout my entire body. I craved to feel it again.

It was the only contact we made through the entire first movie.

She caught me off guard during Last Christmas when she allowed her plate of food to rest against my leg. I didn't dare move. I didn't want to scare her away. So I stayed still until the plate was empty and moved from me.

Our ankles made contact. It was slow and still. Every so often a little more of her leg slid to contact mine, until her entire calf was against mine.

Her hand slowly slid out of her lap and into the space between us, so I copied her slowly.

As her hand moved across the blankets between us, I could see her take a deep breath from the corner of my eye.

It wasn't until the side of her pinky touched mine that I lost my ability to concentrate on the movie. Her pinky overlapped mine for a while, before her hand continued to move over mine. I slowly turned my hand over and allowed her to intertwine her hand with mine. I let out a short breath of content, taking in the moment.

She was holding my hand. Neither of us moved an inch. We were still, letting our hands rest together.

My heart was racing so fast it felt like it wasn't beating at all.

This simple act of affection was driving me crazy. It felt so right.

Her hand stayed in mine for the rest of the movie, which ended far too early for my liking.

When Izzy started to move to get off of the pull-out bed, Tessa's hand ripped from mine, peeling our skin from each other's.

She readjusted next to me, flashing me a blushed smile. Her eyes found mine, causing me to replicate her smile.

"I think I'm going to head home." Izzy announced, stretching her arms above her head.

"I was thinking the same thing." Andre agreed.

"Do you want to walk out with us, so you're not alone?" Izzy addressed Tessa.

"Oh— uh— sure, yeah, that's fine." She was caught off guard.

Her response made me feel like she didn't want to leave yet. I didn't want her to leave, but I didn't want to force her or pressure her to.

Though, I could've given her the option to stay longer when she looked at me, I simply gave her a soft smile.

"You're leaving now?" She looked back at Izzy.

"Yeah." Izzy nodded, helping pick up some of the snack mess.

"I got it, don't worry. Just make sure she gets to her car okay." I said, standing up to take the platters from Izzy's hands.

She gave in easily and started putting her shoes back on. Andre and Tessa followed and soon, the trio was ready to leave.

I opened the door for them, receiving a quick hug from Izzy and Andre, then a deeper, more sentimental hug from Tessa.

I couldn't tell if it was actually any longer than the other two, but time seemed to have stopped in that moment.

"Be safe. Please, let me know when you get home." I spoke quietly to her.

"I will." She nodded against my shoulder.

After we pulled apart, they started the journey to their cars. I watched until I couldn't see them any longer, then closed and locked the door, before starting to clean up.

It only took about ten minutes for my phone to receive a text from Tessa that let me know she had made it home safely.

How can someone so beautiful be hurting as much as she is? My wish for her is that her heart can heal from all the pain and agony it has experienced thus far.

I can only hope that in my knowing her, she will learn to love, be loved, and accept that she is worthy of life. I hope my openness to communication will inspire her to share and become more communicative and possibly seek professional help to make sure she is as okay as she wants to believe she is.

I know it's just a wall that she's built up over the years, but I desperately want to know what lies on the other side of it. The girl I see is already beautiful in every way, I can only imagine that the full version of her is nothing short of breathtaking.

I sent her a good night text, before crawling into my bed and soothing myself to sleep with New Girl playing in the background.

It was easy to sleep after the events of tonight. They were minor and made me feel like a teenager again, but I couldn't stop smiling when I thought of her hand in mine.

I haven't ever felt like this about anyone. My heart has never reacted like this. What is she doing to me?