Nick and Charlie - A Heartstopper Fanfiction

Chapter 1 - Nick

It was ten o'clock in the morning, and Charlie was still asleep. It didn't bother me, though, because at least he was sleeping. Since the doctor prescribed him those sleeping pills, he had been so much happier!

I lay in bed beside him, fiddling with a lock of his scruffy black hair. It always looked this messy, no matter how formal he was attempting to look, and I loved it. He looked so adorable when he was sleeping, all tucked up and folded into the blanket, his feet entwined with mine. His face was softer, and younger, with less worry lines. I hated it when he worried about things. Sometimes his anxiety was difficult to deal with, but I tried to help him the best I could. I just wanted Charlie to be happy.

I tried my best not to make any sudden movements, because I didn't want to disturb Charlie's rest. My God, did he need it. Most nights he got four, five hours of sleep at most, and the entire morning he would be emotional, irritable and sad. It made my heart physically ache to see him so miserable, and each day when I saw his pain displayed clearly on his face, I vowed to myself to make things as easy as possible for him, no matter what.

After a few more minutes of this, with me just staring at him and smiling softly, and with him curled up and sleeping like a baby, he opened one blue eye. Then the other. And when he saw me lying next to him, that same smile crept across his face. I lived for that smile, the one he did every morning when he saw me beside him. Sometimes I would set my alarm for five in the morning just so I could be awake when he woke up. Just so I could see that smile.

I hadn't told him about the smile, because I wasn't sure he was even aware that he was doing it. I hoped he wasn't, because that would just make it so much sweeter, knowing that he was doing it unconsciously. I was worried that if I told him about it, he would be embarrassed and make an effort to hold it in. And God knows where I'd be without that smile.

'Morning,' I murmured, as I did every morning. Charlie said nothing; instead he wrapped his arms around my torso and pulled himself closer, like he was trying to merge with my skin. I sighed and buried my one hand in his hair, the other rubbing up and down his back. He liked it when I did that, he told me. It soothed him. I did it as much as possible.

'What's the time?' he mumbled into my chest. The way he held me was like if he let go, we would never be back together.

'Don't worry about that,' I replied, kissing his forehead softly, just once. I could feel his heart beating against my ribcage, in perfect rhythm with my own.

'Isn't it Elle's birthday today? I promised her we'd come round for lunch. Aled's gonna be there, and Tara, and Darcy...' he trailed off, still a bit sleepy. His shoulder blades were sharp and prominent, though not as bad as they had been years ago, when he was recovering from his eating disorder*. He was right. Our friend, Elle Argent, was having her 26th birthday today, and she'd invited all our friends round for a special birthday lunch. She always threw the best parties, but the last time I'd been to hers for a celebration was when she'd had her gender reassignment surgery**. She was so ecstatic. We all were.

'Don't worry. We've still got time.' Charlie yawned widely and sat up in bed, his hair sticking up all over the place. I stifled a chuckle. He looked so ridiculously cute. He always did.

'I got her a present,' he said blearily, reaching into the bedside table beside him.

'Good, 'cause I didn't.' I pursed my lips. I felt guilty about it, sure, but I just hadn't had time to get her a present. My God, did she deserve one. Elle was one of the most amazing people I knew. 'What did you get her?'

'Well, I found a picture on my phone from years and years ago, so I downloaded it onto my laptop, copy/pasted it into a Word document, printed it out and voila-' he pulled out his present and held it up proudly. '-the perfect gift for the perfect friend.'

He was holding a golden picture frame containing a photograph of all eight of us in Paris***, when Charlie was still just a little Year 10 and I was only Year 11. There was Elle at the back, with her curly dark hair pulled into a bun and round glasses. Tao was next to her, most of his face obscured by Tara's puffy hair. He was wearing his signature beanie. Charlie stood beside Tao, his hair sticking up everywhere. I was next to Charlie, and I cringed at how young I looked. How smooth my face was!

In the front was Aled, with that same shy little smile, Sahar - she was a really nice girl; it was a shame she moved away to Spain - Tara, who looked beautiful as ever with her black frizzy curls and perfect makeup (looking at Charlie, I found it difficult to believe I'd ever had a crush on her) and of course the infamous Darcy, making a silly expression (as usual), her bleached-blonde hair falling over her face.

'Aww,' I grinned. 'She'll love it!' Charlie placed the picture frame on the bedside table and sat back down on the bed, staring down at his legs. I shuffled closer and cupped his face with my hand. 'Char, what's wrong?' I asked. If Charlie's sadness was a person, I would murder them outright and serve my jail time like a man. Because nobody makes my Charlie sad.

'Nothing, I was just thinking about how upset Tao was in Paris when I told everyone else about us and not him.' My face softened with sympathy.

'He forgave you for that, didn't he?'

'Just... you don't understand. Let's just get ready.' Charlie pulled away from me and stood up, walking into the en-suite bathroom. 'I'm going for a shower.'

As soon as he'd gone, I buried my head in my hands. How did I always manage to mess things up?

*Charlie used to struggle with an eating disorder. Some days he was fine, but sometimes he would go multiple days only eating a few bites. Update: It soon escalated into something much worse. He used to self-harm and at one point ended up in a psychiatric ward for a few weeks due to his mental health completely crashing down around him. He was diagnosed with anorexia and OCD.

**Elle is trans! She moved to the girl's school from the boy's school when she was in Year 10, and has been going there ever since.

***When Charlie was in Year 10 and Nick in Year 11, the two schools went on a joint trip to Paris! The description is of a real picture that they took and posted on Instagram while they were there.