Doctor POV
I sigh. I need to tell them all, now. The Master will find them and kill them, just to hurt me, if they don't forget. Ryan has already been murdered. As a warning to me. I'm explaining. Telling them that I have to wipe their memory of me. Yaz is crying. Graham says he understands. I'm holding Yaz's hand, telling her she'll forget and be fine. I'm cleaning their minds now. I feel like I'm observing myself like another person. Fear. Fear is all they feel. It is done. I'm just another dream.
I gaze at the two objects in front of me. The last thing I asked them was what they wanted their memories to be in. Graham had chosen a necklace that Grace had worn, whereas Yaz chose for a watch. Smiling, I trace my fingers over the slow ticking hands and reminisce on the days we had together. I'd built this watch myself, for her birthday, and had been all over the universe for the best materials. The look on her face when she saw it. Perfect.
Tears are trickling down my cheeks now. I've built a fire myself. It's big enough, to burn the memories - like the plan told me to. I place the necklace in the fire, but pause when I reach for the watch. I can't, I just can't get rid of it, the memories. I can't just throw them away. Its fading now, the world, everything's going black. Pain. Nothing.
~~~~~~
I wake up to the crackling of the fire. My brain catches up to the events of yesterday and the tears are back. What if something happens to Yaz? What if I haven't done enough? Oh. I need to stay here, in Sheffield, I'll stop travelling to keep them safe. To keep Yaz safe.
6 months later
It's been six months since I vowed to keep her safe, and I think I've done a good job. She's not spotted me, I don't think so anyway, and she's alive and happy. I sit in the same spot every day, thinking. Funny. Never used to be able to sit still, but now I sit for hours on end just for a glimpse of her being happy in her job. From what I've gathered, she's a sergeant, and is doing well- is this stalking? No, its keeping her safe, keeping me sane. Everything's silent in the Tardis, even she's stopped talking to mourn the loss of my friends.
Someone's sitting next to me. Maybe if I ignore the, they'll go away. I keep my head down. A familiar voice speaks, making my heart swell and deflate in a matter of seconds.
'Ma'am? Are you okay?' It's Yaz. She doesn't know me anymore, and it breaks my heart. I nod slightly. 'We've had reports of you sitting here every day, and then you go into the blue box. Where do you live?'
I might as well start talking a bit. 'Box. It's my home.'
She nods, thinking about something. 'Are you waiting for someone? Is this what it is?'
'I s'ppose you could say that. They don't know I exist.' I look up at her eyes, chocolate brown and warm, and my hearts break all over again. 'Can I ask you something?'
She nods, tilting her head.
'Do you ever feel you're missing something? Like someone important has just left, but you don't who?'
She sucks in a breath. 'I do. Sometimes. Is this what has happened to you? Has someone left?' I shake my head and look down. 'Do you have anywhere to go? Other than the box?'
Oh no. Here comes the tears. She cares so much. 'No, no I don't. It's fine, I can fit in the box well enough. Feels bigger on the inside, almost.'
That was a risk, but can you blame me? I was hoping that she'd remember something, that there was the slightest defect in the memory wipe. I miss her. She can't miss me, but I miss her. My fingers touch the face of the watch, the hands that have taunted me by ticking past, teased me about knowing what she thought while I just had to watch.
