UNTAMED

Part Forty Nine

“It’s not just you Tamed. I had same questions. Why did my parents who loved God so much die by accident? Then the common ones people ask are why are there so much evil? Why so much death, disasters, sickness? What kind of God ignores the pains of his people? And so many others. I even had the question on why God created people like me. I did not even believe in the existence of God then. My mum told me I will find Him one day, just like you are about to.”
He flew the bird to him again.
“I’m also a creator you know. Right now the Special Force employs first class graduates from different sciences to help with the production of some of these gadgets but I always do the software programming and the best robots are known as AI meaning artificial intelligence. We are trying to create something with freewill, something that can work on its own but even at that, they still need to be programmed making them dependent. But God who is the greatest creator gave us complete freewill, we are not programmed, we are allowed to behave the way we want, whether to serve him or hate him it’s by choice, our freewill only ends with death. Then why are people not asking God to take away our freewill and remote us like robots? My mum and dad died because a drunken man decided to drive a trailer, freewill. Abigail died because Lord Nero’s men shot her, freewill.  Your mum died because of an incurable disease which our freewill brain have not gotten a solution to. If it was my bird, I must look into what is causing the malfunctioning because I created it and it is programmed and not completely free. I tell it what to do. But it’s not so with humans. Our actions and inactions have consequences that affect others and it’s not God who programmed those actions.” Jason said.
“Then why do people pray if God won’t help? What’s the use?”
“Who told you He does not answer?” Jason asked.
“Seriously? My mum died of cancer, Halima was abused for more than fourteen years and Abigail and George have always asked God to keep them safe.”
“That is a wrong answer. I asked who told you God did not answer those who prayed to Him?”
“I just did. They died?”
“We want freewill and still want to control God’s way to answer. His ways are not our ways Tamed. His thoughts for us are always good to give us an expected end. Our own is to pray but God answers are based on what is best because we believe He knows ahead.”
“I don’t understand?”
“It is appointed unto man once to die and after that Judgment. Death is an appointment and if you look into it, it’s more of how they died, and what age they died that hurts us but that is their appointment Tamed. Cindy was right. Even though Abigail could have been saved, it does not mean you were wrong. It was an appointment. Although we have freewill, there are those who He has chosen. Some call it fate. You were supposed to meet Abigail, she was supposed to die that day because that was her appointment. Meeting you and stabilizing you at a time you were going AWOL was her purpose and she went back to her creator when it was time. God did not sent Lord Nero, He only permitted it. We care too much about someone’s age forgetting everybody must die. Some it was not how they would die that was appointed but that they will die and it’s not about age. My parents’ works were over, that was why God allowed it. No matter how you live your life, whether you abuse the freewill or not, you will still die and God only intervenes when it’s not time. It was not time for Cindy and I that was why we scaled through that civil war mission but it was time for George. I came to the realization that it has nothing to do with age because I had a sister.”
That was new. He had never heard about it.
“She died the day she was born. But that was her appointment because she had fulfilled her purpose. If she was not conceived, my mum would never have met Cindy’s mum. My mum said the only reason she had listened to Cindy’s mum was because she saw Cindy as a consolation. There was no way she would have taken Cindy in if my sister had survived. She would have sent her to the orphanage. Without Cindy, I would never be close to normal, I will not be talking to you now. Stop making your mum and Abigail so special and forcing God to take responsibility for their deaths. If you believe they were very close to God and God should have given them preferential treatment then you should have studied how those very close to Him died. From historical records none of the disciples died old or peaceful apart from John. All the others died painful deaths. Peter was crucified upside down, one was dragged towards different directions by horses and was torn to pieces and some were beheaded and they actually died because of Jesus Christ not because of sickness, or accident or criminals, yet none of them questioned God or blamed him. They happily died and even Stephen prayed to God to forgive his killers. But it was the same God that saved Daniel from the lion’s den. Was Daniel too special? It was because it was not his appointment. He had not written the visions that are even yet to be fulfilled.  I had studied so many earthquakes, explosions, collapse of buildings and many other mass disasters and most of them had an unexplainable events or stories of a survivor or survivors which everybody called a miracle. God said He will show mercy or compassion to who He chooses and that can explain such situations. Some people have actually hastened their appointments or other people’s appointment, like bombers, killers and drunks. But if God chose to permit it, if God decided to allow them die, it’s to His gain Tamed.  You can never love Abigail or your mum more than God. You wanted them to stay with you, God wanted them to come home. We are the ones losing not God, He has simply taken his own home and there is nothing you can do about it. He knows it will cause us pain, it will make us hurt that is why we are told that it’s okay to feel pain but not like those who God had  no hand in their doom because they’ve gone to be with God and it’s not that we will never see them again.  Even Muslims understand this. You never see them question God for the death of their relatives, they always called it the will of Allah, but some Christians get angry at God for any little thing. God did not kidnap Halima Tamed, Chief did. God answered her prayer long time ago Tamed, it’s just that the instrument was not ready. As long as we are in this world, evil men will remain and that is why people like us do our best to stop them. Even when bible said God answered Isaac’s prayer for a child, Jacob was sixty when Esau was born, a big twenty year gap from when he prayed. Stop trying to understand God with your human knowledge because to God one plus one can be three. God is not a math problem you solve and have a corresponding answer. My gadgets can’t malfunction and force me to fix it the way it wants. It just shows that something it’s wrong with it and I decide if I want to fix it or let it rest. My decisions have always been what it’s best for me, for my operation not what is best for my gadget. George had always said he always pray to God to protect him but he knows that one day God is gonna say no George, this time come home son. And who is he to say no when his father calls? I understand him now” Jason said standing up.
“I’m still not there yet you know. I need Cindy” he said leaving the ring.
He did not cry when his mum died, he only felt heavy pain. He did not cry when Abigail died, he shouted and screamed and felt rage but he was crying now. Men must not cry, it was a sign of weakness but he was crying.
“Mum finally your prayers have been answered. I’ve found God. I’ve found Halima, they are the true gift right?” he said crying.
For the first time in fourteen years, he prayed. For the first time in more than a year he felt peace, he felt life in his dead heart.
The time was past twelve when he left the ring but he had time. He was going to drive like he had never driven before straight to the Circle house.