The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

Only the young

It had taken Lily forever to fall asleep after James left. Her mind just couldn't stop itself. It was masochistic how many times she replayed the feeling of his lips, his hands, his body pressed up against her. It was like how she always wanted it to feel and more, an unhealthy amount of more. She'd watched old black and white movies, before couples were shown to have sex and the most intimate thing they'd ever do would be kiss. And that kiss, since it was all they could show, was full of everything they couldn't say and weren't able to express.

Kissing James Potter was like that. Just like that.

Soon she'd see him again, and she'd have to force herself to keep her distance and not act on the feelings she so foolishly shared with him. Lily wanted to scold herself, but she couldn't. There wasn't anyway she could have stopped herself. It was impossible. He was impossible. How could one boy cause so much trouble? How could one boy make her so mad? How could one boy make her feel this way?

Eventually though, she did fall asleep. She fell so deep into sleep, that she didn't hear the crack of apparation when it sounded. No, Lily was sprawled out on her bed, her hair a mess, slightly drooling and out cold. Dorcas would have laughed at the sight if she didn't have something she urgently needed to discuss.

"Lil...Lil...LILY!" Dorcas shouted, shaking her hard.

Lily gasped, as if she'd been drowning and received her first gulp of oxygen. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! ...Dora?! What-!"

"Listen-"

Lily groaned, clutching her heart and whining slightly. "What is with everyone? Why do you all have to scare the shit out of me?!"

Dorcas ignored that and continued, "Remus said he loves me."

Lily's face dropped. "He...did what?!"

"EXACTLY! He...he said...feelings...and..." Dorcas drifted off, gesturing wildly while squinting at something that wasn't there.

"And...what did you say?"

"Nothing really. I stayed for breakfast, and then I bolted."

Lily paused, trying to catch up. "Wait...please tell me he knows you left."

"He does." Dorcas rolled her eyes. "I didn't run from him...or he doesn't think I did."

"He isn't stupid. I think he knows he freaked you out."

"Well what did he expect?! We've been dating two and a half months!" Dorcas exclaimed pacing back and forth. "I really like him, but love? LOVE? How could he possibly love me that quickly? He barely knows me!"

Lily pushed herself up to a sitting position and rubbed her eyes. Her hair was all over the place and the black eye she had received the day before still ached a bit. She would have appreciated two more hours of sleep. Just two more and she would be able to be supportive and understanding of Dorcas's plight. Lily would even figure out a way for Dorcas to deal with her feelings and handle everything smoothly. But friendship wasn't that easy and effortless, if it was everyone would be friends with everybody. If there was one definitive thing Lily had learned it was that being someone's friend could be incredibly inconvenient and quite exhausting, but if you aren't there for them in the bad times, you won't truly love them in the good times.

So Lily sucked it up, she held back the five-year-old tantrum that she could have produced and looked at Dorcas. Poor, clueless Dorcas. The girl could do anything, she was smart, independent, feisty and driven, but a boy tells her he loves her and she loses her mind. If Dorcas didn't look so upset, Lily might have laughed, but she respectfully held back.

"Okay, just slow down... sit and talk to me." Lily scooted back against her bedpost and motioned for Dorcas to sit.

"I didn't want this...I never wanted this...I mean I did, but...god." Dorcas spluttered, her face growing red. "I just...I love the idea of love and I wanted someone to love, someone that would love me, but ...they don't tell you it will feel like this...Like I'm terrified he will just take one look at me and..."