50 Ways To Say Goodbye (Kellic)

Way 17: Falling Apart is Another Word For Death

There was a knock against the door about two weeks later. This begins my week I think. I moved away from the door so that Kellin enter. "Vic?" His face immediately filled with concern. "Have you been laying there the whole time I've been gone. "

"Of course not. I've gotten up about three time a day. I'm not disgusting. " 

"Aside from that, have you eaten? Or drank? " 

"What? " He sounded so far away. "Don't leave me. "

"Viccy, Viccy, no. You need to take care of yourself. " He bent down to pick me up and began lifting me up. 

"No, no. I can walk, " I said lazily. Kellin let go of me and I immediately fell to the floor, struggling to stand. 

"Come here, Vic. " He picked me up again. 

I kissed his lips weakly. "Please don't leave. "

"Vic, you're confused. I'm staying for the week like I promised. Vic, you're so light." 

"I broke your trust. " 

"Oh my god, are you still on that? " He placed me on the kitchen counter. 

"My wrists. " I showed him my arms and the scars that covered them. 

"Oh, Vic. Vic, no. " He traced over a bunch of them. In some spots you couldn't even see much skin that was not penetrated. "Viccy, this isn't good. You don't deserve this. " 

I nodded. "Yes I do. I fucked up so bad, Kells." 

He poured me a glass of water and forced me to drink it all. I barely had the energy to swallow. 

"I'm so tired. " Knowing that I wasn't lying, Kellin picked me up again and brought me back to the couch. He layed me down. 

"Everything will be alright, " He assured me, kissing me on the forehead before he left back to the kitchen. "I'm going to make you something to get your strength back. Just try to sleep in the mean time, " He said before I started to drift off. 

When I woke up, the sun was beginning to set, and Kellin was sitting right next to my head. "Hey baby, " He said gently and affectionately. I smiled slightly. That's the tone that he uses when he's in a really good mood. "Come here, you need to eat something. " 

I nodded, forcing myself to walk slowly to the kitchen. Kellin's a culinary genius, but I'm still not hungry. Everything feels to heavy for food. I sat down and picked at the food in front of me. He'd pretty much made everything left that hadn't expired. Fortunately, there was a chicken breast in the freezer that was still okay. I just don't want to eat it. 

"You have to eat, Vic. Just a little bit to gain your strengths back, " Kellin encouraged me. 

"I'm not hungry. " 

"You'll die. " His voice cracked. 

"Would that be so bad? I sometimes wonder why-" 

Kellin had ran up to me at this point and was hugging me so tightly that I couldn't breathe. "No, no, no, no, no, Vic. You have to stay alive. For everyone, for me. I know it gets heavy but you can't die. Please just eat something." 

I picked at the chicken and took a small forkful, feeling sick after I ate it. I don't know what happened to my appetite. Maybe I'm getting sick. Come to think of it, it is cold in here. I looked at Kellin in hopes that he would see it in my eyes. He put his hand to my forehead. "Oh, no. You're burning up. " 

"I'm not hungry. " 

Knowing that I was sick, he picked me up and carried me all of the way to my bedroom. "What do you think you have? What hurts? What do you need? " He immediately began pelting me with questions after laying me under the covers of my bed. 

"I don't know. Everything. And just for you to stay forever and ever. " 

"I'm not leaving, I promise. " He kissed my forehead. "I love you. " 

"I love you too, " I whispered before drifting off to sleep again.