Personality Matrix

Spacewalk

Darla coursed silently through the empty void that was Despondos. Only darkness surrounded the ship, and it was starting to get into Catra's head. She curled up next to the window and blew some breath against the crystal, fogging it and drawing lines with her fingers.

Bow and Glimmer had gone to one of the crew quarters to get some sleep. And Adora was sitting at the captain's chair, piloting Darla. It had been almost 12 hours since they warped into Despondos, and so far, they had found absolutely nothing. They were absolutely lost in the vast expanse of the empty dimension, without any kind of guide except for Darla's sensors.

Adora sighed and looked at Catra, noticing her worried expression. Without saying anything, she stood up and walked towards her, sitting on the ground and hugging her from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. Catra gave her a timid smile and leaned on her, closing her eyes.

"Are you alright, Catra? You seem...uneasy to say the least" Adora said, gently caressing her arm. Catra shrugged lightly and replied in a soft tone.

"We happen to be stranded and lost in an empty dimension looking for someone we have no clue how to reach. It's actually a pretty good reason to be uneasy, isn't it?"

Adora smiled and shook her head.

"Yeah. It is. But if I know you, that's not the only reason. You've been a bit gloomy since we came back from the depot. You know you can speak to me."

As Adora spoke, Catra's expression hardened for a second, as if she was going to snap at her. But it didn't last long, as she sighed and looked at Adora with defeated eyes.

"...I don't like talking about it. I'm scared, yes. But I can't allow that fear to jeopardize the mission"

Adora didn't reply. Instead, she looked at her intensely, almost demanding an answer. Catra blushed as their eyes met and looked to the ground, finally replying.

"Okaay. Don't look at me like that. It's just... I'm scared you know. Back in that depot I relived once again the times I... the times I hurt you. The times my stupid pride led me to fail you. And I'm...scared about this. I know we are used to dangerous missions like this. But... I'm afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of you pulling one of your stupid hero sacrifice moments and leaving me. And I feel like I don't deserve you. Not after everything I did. I'm confused. All my life, I've been used and dumped once again. Like a toy. Everytime I try to make something of myself, I end up messing it up. I end up hurting people. And I'm afraid of hurting you again. Afraid of losing... all of this"

Adora's face darkened a bit as Catra spoke. She wanted to reply, but she felt like words wouldn't cut it in this kind of situation. Instead, she just hugged Catra even tighter. This time, it was Catra who could feel her trembling a bit behind her.

"I...I'm sorry. I'm just overthinking. That's all." Catra said looking at the ceiling. Adora shook her head lightly and answered.

"I'm afraid of losing you too, you know? Back in Bright Moon, when Shadow Weaver said those things and you left with Melog... I could feel the world falling apart around me. I lost all the conviction I had on myself. Yes, you hurt me. And I hurt you back. I was blind and I ignored your feelings for so long like an idiot. But I'm trying to make up for it. And I know words are not enough. But I promise that I'm not going anywhere nor sacrificing anything. Back then, I had nothing to lose. Now... I'd lose everything. And I'm not going to make you suffer that. I promise."

Catra listened as Adora spoke and a lot of emotions coursed through her body. As soon as she finished speaking, Catra lunged on her and fell on top of her as both of them rolled through the polished floor of the ship. Catra chuckled and cleaned a tear off Adora's cheek with her finger.