getaway

0.7 | bother

later that day, i approached jaemin bravely. 

"jaemin, is there something wrong?" i asked him, concerned.

he avoided my gaze. "n-no...nothing's wrong." 

i frowned and tried to meet his eyes. "jaemin. tell me. what's wrong?" 

jaemin met my eyes and i immediately regretted my decision to talk. his eyes were intimidating; sharp and ablaze. there were no cracks on his face like the usual, but he looked undeniably pale. despite the ghostly skin, his fiery eyes made me feel small and inferior. 

"i said nothing is wrong. stop bothering me and let's just go to the park like how we usually do." he spat and hoisted his backpack on his shoulders, trudging ahead of me. 

i felt a mix of anger and sadness. i knew something was wrong, but it frustrated me that jaemin wouldn't tell me. of course, it was his own business, but i felt a nagging feeling in my core that if i didn't check up on him, i would instantly regret it later. there was also a stinging sensation in my heart when he said that i was bothering him.

a bother. 

without thinking about it, i stomped over to the moping boy and grabbed his shoulder, spinning his body around to face mine. "am i really that much of a nuisance to you? i'm just trying to check in on you! you look really sad and not like the jaemin i know, so i tried to do what a good friend would do: ask them if they're okay! and here you are...lying?" i couldn't see my reflection, but i knew that hurt was clearly displayed in my eyes.

jaemin flinched when i shouted at him and for a nanosecond, his eyes softened into guilt. however, that moment did not last long and before i knew it, he began firing up at me. "i never asked you to check up on me! what am i, a kid? you're not my m-mom, stop telling me to to open up about my feelings and just mind your own business. i take care of my own matters and you shouldn't squeeze in just because you think of yourself as a special friend." 

my eyes widened with surprise at his harsh choice of words. 

you shouldn't squeeze in just because you think of yourself as a special friend.

tears clouded my vision, but i wiped them away, not daring to let him see me cry. "fine then! i won't talk to you! this is incredibly immature, why are we arguing about this?" i cried and walked away, my hands clecnhing onto my backpack straps, fury coursing through my veins. "forget about me, jaemin! you were my getaway, but since i have a curfew, i guess it's time for me to return to the real world now, don't i?" i yelled spitefully and didn't turn back. 

and in that moment, i felt a huge crack split through my body, right across my arm. the agonizing pain shocked me and i held it in, not allowing myself to seem so vulnerable in front of angry jaemin.