getaway

1.0 | gone

ichika pov

i burst into jaemin's hospital room to see doctors and nurses shouting and trying to figure out methods to bring him back to a normal state. 

one nurse saw me and she immediately ushered me outside. "i'm so sorry, miss. we can't allow anyone in jaemin's room at the moment." 

"w-why is he like this? what happened to him? i cried, a lump forming in my throat. i forced myself to swallow it, but it only led to an incredible amount of tears flooding from my ducts. 

"we are not allowed to spread information about other patients to others, miss," she looked at me with apologetic eyes. "i'm so sorry, please wait a minute. what are you to na jaemin?" 

i thought for a moment and recalled his words.

stop trying to squeeze in just because you think of yourself as a special friend. 

i gulped and answered, "a f-friend..."

the nurse nodded. "we will be with you in a moment, miss. can i have your name?"

"b-baek ichika..." i answered amidst a flood of tears. 

"ichika, we will be with you shortly, please wait outside and take a seat." she led me to a bench and hurried back to jaemin's room. 

there, i cried.

the scar from jaemin's words earlier hurt even more as i let out all of my emotions, all of my pain. all the pain i felt from my years on earth were now dripping to the hospital floor. my eyes were puffy and red and i looked like an utter mess, but i didn't care. whatever condition jaemin was in at the moment was much more important than mine, so i began to pray to any god i knew to just heal him, to wash away any agony that he was feeling at the moment. 

my cries turned into hiccups and my hiccups turned into shallow breaths. 

i felt a hand touch my shoulder and i whirled around, confused.

it was an old woman with patched up clothes and half-moon glasses propped against the bridge of her nose.

"h-hello?" i stuttered. 

"you must be jaemin's friend, ichika," she said softly, caressing my shoulder gently. 

"i-i...yes," i answered. "who are you?"

"i'm jaemin's grandmother," she replied, hurt lacing her voice. there were several scars decorating her frail body. "he's in a lot of pain right now, and it hurts to say it, but..." she trailed away. "jaemin doesn't have much hope at the moment right now, darling."

i gasped. "w-what? but the doctors can heal him! they can make him better! what is he going through?" the storm of tears returned and i found myself sobbing in the grandmother's embrace.

"jaemin is an odd case, ichika," she answered almost inaudibly. "most people are born so that when they feel heartbroken, their skin cracks, but jaemin has a very dangerous condition," she sighed and stared into my eyes with such a guilty, sorrowful expression. "when jaemin feels hurt, or when he feels sad, the cracks don't appear on his skin...they appear on his heart."

at that moment, it felt like the entire world was crumbling in on me. "b-but...how is that possible? how is still alive?" i cried.

"he received several surgeries and transplants since he was a young boy, but no matter what kind of heart he was given, his body cracked it. so, he grew himself to not care what others think and just live life happily," she sighed deeply and listened to the shouts and protests inside jaemin's hospital room. "i guess whatever happened to him must've scarred him greatly."

a shock of realization shot through my entire body. i began trembling and more tears fell violently from my eyes. "oh my gosh...i-i killed your grandson..."

the old lady looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "what did you say, dear?"

"he looked sad, so i wanted to check up on h-him...but he yelled at m-me, so i yelled back...we fought," i answered through hiccuping cries.

she wrapped me into a hug as i cried into her arms. the sounds of jaemin's slowing heartbeat and the panicked voices of the healthcare workers drowned me as i tried to calm down.

"he'll be in a better place soon, darling," she whispered. "being scarred by your words after blocking his feelings from the world for years means he really cherishes you," she sniffled as i squeezed my eyes shut when i heard a long beep from the heart rate monitor, then fading away into nothing, indicating that jaemin had gone.

goodbye, jaemin.

you really were my getaway.

T H E   E N D.