"We can never be together. I don't have common sense when I'm with you" "I don't care how much common sense you have, I still want you"
For her falling for him wasn't falling at all.It was walking into a house and suddenly knowing you're home.
For...
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'one of the most bittersweet feelings is when you realize how much you're going to miss a moment while you're still living it.
its the little things that matter the most.
the hand holding, the forehead kisses, the nickname only you call me.
i've never met someone who cares about me as much as you do.
i've known you since we were little kids and i've never seen you act the way you do around me to anyone else.
am i stupid for thinking that it means something more? something more than just simply caring for one another's well beings?
maybe you feel the same way about me?
i'm asking myself questions only you can answer.
one thing i know for sure is you're my home. you're my safe space. you're the one thing that i know will always be there.
you care about me more than i have ever cared about myself.
and even though you are sitting on the other side of the room right now you'll never know this is how i feel'
"bug come here" jj calls to me from my bed "hold on" i say i finish up my last sentence then close my journal.
i walk over to my bed and lay next to jj.
"did you have a good day bug?" he asks playing with my hair i nod.
"you seemed pretty focused over what were you writing about?"
you
"nothing much just life" i shrug "you sure it's 'just life' like i said you seemed pretty focused. Were you writing about someone?" he asks.
he knows i write about my whole life in that journal. he knows i write about the pogues, my sisters, my mother, my grandma basically anyone i come in contact with. its all in the journal.
"yes i was writing about someone jj. why do you ask?" "just curious" he mumbles.
"weirdo" i mumble "dork" he mumbles back.
"dumbo" "stupidhead" "expired coupon" "squeaky grocery cart" "wet sock" "itchy sweater" "wobbly table" "crying baby on a plane" "unnecessary movie sequel"
"ouch remind me to never argue with you again" jj says "yay i win!" i cheer "yeah yeah"
****
i was sitting on the pull out couch at the chateau while jj was asleep beside me.
"jelly bean" john b calls out to me "what?" i question as i finish my page.
"do you wanna surf the surge?" he asks smirking "i don't know john b. is it safe?" i question.
"um- yeah totally and besides i'll be with you if anything happens" he says reassuring me.
i look at the sleeping boy beside me. i poke his shoulder to make sure he is fully asleep and he snores in response. i smile to myself.
"yeah let's go" i say smiling.
i write jj a quick note telling him that we left.
john b and i quickly load our surfboards on the top of his van.
the we start our drive to the beach.
"he loves you ya'know" john b blurts out "what do you mean?" i ask looking at him while he drives "jj, he loves you. i just thought you should know" john b says and i nod "i know"
****
we pull up to the beach running right past the beach closed sign.
"you ready?" john b asks me "hell yeah!" i say happily.
he gasps "annaliese beckett watch your mouth" he demands "right, sorry, heck yeah!" i repeat and he smiles at me.
we both head towards the water.
we each catch a few good waves but the water was getting too rough for my novice surfing skills.
i paddle out back to shore and sit on my surf board in the rain.
as i watch john b continue watching john b surf i spot a small white boat being tossed around by the waves then it disappears like it was never there.
i really hope that the person driving the boat is ok.
"jelly bean let's roll the rain is getting too hard" he calls out to me and i nod.
after helping john b load up the surf boards we both get in the car.
"do you have a towel i forgot mine and i feel bad ruining the seats in your car" i tell him.
"i have a hoodie" "that's fine thank you"
john b drives me home.
he pulls up in my driveway.
"thank you jb. you can come inside if you want. im sure astrid would love to see you" i smirk.
it was an inside joke with the friend group that astrid had a crush on john b. it was super obvious and we all thought it was adorable.
he laughs "nah i gotta get home and board up the windows but tell astrid i miss her dearly" he puts his hand over his heart.
"ok please be safe during the hurricane. you and jj both if you need just call me. ill see you tomorrow" he kisses my cheek "see you tomorrow jelly bean"
