Dried Lilies, Withered Hearts And A Lonely Path

•Chapter-12• What are you?

Khushi opened her eyes when she felt something soft bump softly against her hand. Was the panther gone? Did Prithvi scare him away? Khushi thought confused for she was sure two seconds ago the panther was about to pounce on her and devour her and she had forgotten the fine art of screaming her lungs out. But the scene in front of her eyes did surprise her, surprised her so much that she unconsciously took two steps back with a loud gasp.

The bright shining eyes of the panther were trained on her and it whined pitifully turning its ears down a little watching her walk back. It was so not a panther behavior yet it wasn't her behavior too that instead of running inside. She stayed still on her spot staring at the panther. The panther took careful almost cautious steps towards and rubbed its coat against her leg like a pet cat or dog. Every instinct in her body was telling her to run for her life. All forms of common senses were screaming at her to run. But she didn't. She stayed still forwarding her hand almost hesitantly towards the panther closing her eyes bracing for impact.

Was she suicidal? She is starting to feel she might be.

But the pain she was bracing herself for never came instead she felt something wet and soft tickling her palm. Opening her eyes, she saw the panther licking her palm like a puppy. The scene was so surreal, it felt so surreal and astounding that she couldn't help but let out a watery chuckle. It was more of a sob and less a chuckle - slowly falling to her knees on the cold balcony floor.

"You aren't going to hurt me, are you?"

She knew she was talking to an excellent predator. One of the toppers of the food chains and she was asking it whether it will hurt or not? It was insane. She was insane and maybe she wants to die. She really wants too. Death seemed like the best option for her. No hurt, No pain, no misery, no humiliation, No disgrace just nothing. It will be like mingling in everything she is made up of, mingling in mother earth, and forgetting everything about her solo essence. She will be just a particulate like the million other particles making up this earth. The soft whine of the panther mixing with the screech of Prithvi drew her away from her dire thoughts.

"You know they hurt me, they hurt me a lot. You're not like them, are you? Maybe comparing them with animals really is an insult to animals. You follow the rules of the jungle they follow no rules,"

Khushi didn't know why she was telling the eagle and black panther about this? But she couldn't help it. These words, these feelings, this sadness, and messed up feelings just won't express themselves in the presence of any human. And how will they? How could she tell the people that saved her that she was better dead? She didn't want to live with the disgrace. She didn't want to live knowing how badly she was exploited and violated by people she called her family. How was it any fair? She is an outcast now. An outcast no one wants.

The scolding screech in her ears as Prithvi pecked on her ears drew her away from thoughts of death and she noticed the black panther's head resting on her knees as her eyes unconsciously clenched and unclenched on its smooth, shinning fur. Everything felt odd and surreal and unnatural yet she couldn't help but show the bird and panther the broken and scattered pieces of her soul. She isn't sure she possesses a heart anymore or not. For as far as she remembers her more than broken heart was left somewhere in that alley. Shattered, it's pieces scattered along that very alley, like broken glasses. They were mixed on setts with the broken pieces of her dignity that they destroyed and annihilated in one night. In one night, she lost her everything.

Family, Identity, Dignity, Life... She isn't sure who or what she is anymore? She doesn't know. She doesn't know how to survive or why to survive? She just doesn't know? How to stop the defiled parts of her body from clenching in pain? How to stop thinking of that night? How to stop when with each breath she took the night's memories became clearer and clearer in her mind.