Styling THE Boys | BTS Fanfiction

》12

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"my story isn't mine to end, because the agony I write is a loop that I don't see the trace of every time it repeats itself. You, are the answer to the questions I keep forgetting."
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  June

I'm staring at my face in the mirror, my concealed under-eyes and moisturized lips, when someone knocks on the door of my room, "Jooeun, are you awake?"

I let out a sigh, not feeling awake enough to talk to anyone yet although I'm done getting ready, but I call for Changwook to come in anyway. After I came back from my therapy session yesterday he wasn't home yet and I fell asleep before he made it. "It's your first day today?" He comes in with a lazy smile.

"Yes, it is." My breath comes out a little shaky, and he picks it up immediately and joins me in the frame of my mirror when I turn away, "it's another first day inside my head, and I keep getting so terrified whenever I remember all the distorted memories. I don't think I can do this--"

"Don't say that, you told me you were a different person in that dream. That wasn't you. You're not weak, we all know it. You can pull through. Plus you'll only work half a day, remember? Dad will be back today, and we are all going to the airport."

I remember. I nod, "one good thing to look forward to if all goes wrong. Is Seungho awake yet?"

"He's sleeping in today," Changwook then scratches the hair at the back of his head and breathes out loudly as if preparing himself to address something he shouldn't, "about Seungho, he was complaining when we had a drink together last night."

I can see where this is going. Seungho would always side with Jin and complain about how I treat him, but Changwook always sides against Jin, whatever it is. I don't know if it's because he always wants to side with me or if it's because he doesn't like Jin entirely or just how close we are. "I'm only saying this because I didn't like how bothered Seungho was, I am not in any way condemning your actions."

"Just say it."

"He thinks you're treating Jin unfairly by letting him miss out on parts of your life that he wants to be a part of." He lets it out in one go like he's so close to changing his mind on saying anything at all, then his eyes widen a little when he waits for my reaction.

"I know. Well, he wasn't trying to hide it yesterday anyway," I roll my eyes and start picking a purse that goes with my coat, which s a plain dark green this time. "But why do you think I'm doing this? I'm trying to be a better friend, I left Jin with more losses than gains- if any to begin with. All because I was telling him too much.

"I'm just trying to protect him."

I took too much out of Jin, like he was the paper I needed to make my book... like his blood was the ink in my pen. And what did I give back?