Styling THE Boys | BTS Fanfiction

》13

As of the 10th of August,  -CEREALWXTER- aka luff's birthday, we are ranking #1 in the Seungho tag.
I'll continue my unnecessary note at the end of the chapter.
For now, celebrate with me and enjoy reading!

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"the ice you handed to me in the winter, so easy to get, only felt important on the next summer when you were gone. And I can only keep wondering if it was my heat that needed it to cool down, or if it was my heart that needed you."
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June

"If you want me away from you that much, just let me know." Jin's hands are still behind his back, gripping the coldness of the door handle as if it helped him direct more coldness at me. His pale face was a shade of soft crimson, but his calm voice made it hard to tell if his blood was boiling with pain or anger. "If you want to treat me like every other person in that room who doesn't know anything about you, then let me know so I don't expect anything I won't get."

The twitch of his eyes, and the stillness of his lips after he was done told me this was years worth of accumulation. When I was away, Jin would find out about the hugest things in my life only if he asked, I wouldn't lie to him then. And what kept his patience intact was probably how I sought him out for a chat now and then before I even had enough time to consider speaking to my brothers instead.

All because Jin was where I wanted to keep all the beautiful things in. He was too precious in a way that's heavenly, I didn't want him to know versions of June that were even more horrid than the Jooeun he tries so hard to save.

My eyes are fixated on his, he thinks that I'm pushing him away and that I don't want him anymore, I suppose this is what it looks like to him. He wouldn't understand how he's the only thing Jooeun and I have left, the only thing that didn't break apart on that day she lost everything.

What am I without this Jin? I'll probably be the same June in my dream, that nightmare. I would be the hate and horror that June remembers and lives with.

All I could do was drop my purse to the floor, allowing the thud to break the silence Jin started and stepping closer to him. One step at a time, till his arms drop from behind him to rest at his sides in response. And my arms snake around his waist, knowing how selfish I am for taking the easier way out of my mistakes. "I'm sorry," I let my syllables crowd over each other like his heartbeats are, "I didn't mean it that way, I thought I would be a bother since you're busy."

My apology won't make up for it, it would take more than that, but he would give in for now. I'm not as patient as Jin is, so when he doesn't reply I press my chin against his chest and look up at him. His eyes that are looking at everything but me only came back down when I whine, "Jin, come on. Sorry?"

"You won't do this again? If I tell you I want to know, you let me know. At least let me have the chance to help."

"Help with what? You think I can't handle myself too--" I'm cut off with his impatient sigh and hands that move too quickly to start at my shoulders and brush down to my elbows, then he holds me there.