in the hands of fate (a love by chance, tincan, story)

chapter 2: fragile, like a baby in your arms

A/N: I've been through what Can is going through right now with a tiny baby. I'm amazed he's even able to get dressed never mind go to football practice!

"Why won't you stop crying?" Can lifted the baby up by her under arms and held her aloft staring at her scrunched up red face as she sobbed. She had been crying for what felt like forever and nothing Can did seemed to help. He'd fed her a bottle, burped her just how the nurse had shown him, changed her nappy, picked her up, sung to her. "Come on, Ren, please. It's time to sleep."

Ren seemed to pause for a moment and caught her breath and Can felt a moment of hope before her little face dissolved again and she emitted a plaintive wail.

He put the baby to his shoulder and stood up to pace his bedroom. He had never in his life felt so exhausted. He had barely slept since he had brought Ren home from the hospital. He still couldn't believe that this was happening to him. He was a father. Parenthood hadn't really been on his radar. He was eighteen years old and could barely look after himself. He'd sort of assumed that one day in the very distant future he might have kids, but it had always been something that adults just did when they were settled down with someone they loved.

Can was not settled, and he was not in love with the baby's mother, Lhew. Lhew was not even here. Until a few weeks ago Can had had no clue about his impending fatherhood. He'd found out the day after his date at Tin's house, when he'd still been dizzy over their shared kisses and trying to make sense of the feelings Tin invoked in him.

He had called Tin when Ley had said she thought Tin was dating Pete and was just trying to sort through the jumble of thoughts that conversation had thrown at him when his mother had summoned him down from his room and he'd found himself bombarded from all angles by his mother and two strangers who turned out to be Lhew's parents.

Irresponsible. Reckless. DNA tests. Taking responsibility. Monthly allowances. Adoption. Fresh start. Make a choice. Make it now.

In the end the choice was simple. Can could take on the baby when it was born, or the baby would be adopted. Lhew and her family were relocating to the States for fresh start that did not involve an illegitimate baby. It turned out Can's mother had found out about all of it a week or so before and demanded a DNA test before talking to Can about it, something he was grateful for.

The test had come back 99.9998% chance that Can was the father. So that was that then. He might not even be nineteen years old yet, he certainly was not ready to be a father, but he was not about to turn his child, an innocent baby, over to strangers to raise.

He looked at that baby now, fatigue flowing through every fibre of him, but he could not regret the decision he had made even if he could curse it. He already loved her more than he'd ever thought it would be possible. "It's not your fault you got stuck with me as your parent." He cuddled Ren to his shoulder. The baby's cries slowed down as she seemed to wear herself out. Can sighed. He had no idea what he was doing, he was mostly relying on Google and instinct. His mother had accepted his decision to keep the baby but had made her disappointment at his lack of responsibility for being in the situation clear. She was helping when she could but had said right away that she couldn't afford to reduce her hours at work to look after a baby. The responsibility was his alone and it weighed upon him heavily.

Luckily, Ley was smitten with her niece. She had made several attempts to pry the story of his and Lhew's 'romance' from Can. He had told her to mind her own business. Romance? What a joke.

He had talked to his course leader and arrange to take a few weeks off after the birth and she had helped him to arrange a place in the university crèche. His friends had been shocked when he had told them he was going to be a father but had since been amazing. It had only been a week though and the novelty would surely wear off.