Because We Had Us

Chapter 27. History Repeats

Xay

The Tennessee breeze, which was a refreshing break from Texas's blazing sun, grazed my skin. I never expected to find myself living in the mountains, or anywhere but space really. Letting my sister go was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but it still didn't compare to the fight I had ahead. The fight between my new normal and I. No matter how hard I tried to feel again, I always found myself suppressing any feeling that tried to creep up from behind the wall of denial I had built for years now.

So I sat in a Nashville bar, drowning away my sorrows, as I watched the now four and my sister break the shocking news to the rest of humanity. The bar was mostly empty, the majority of people were still isolating theirselves at the time, minus the die hard rule breakers who refused to stay home. The few stubborn fools around me, who would have been dead by now if this virus was actually real, all went silent. The clacking of the pool balls stopped, the country sweetheart in pink cowboy boots who was singing Dolly Parton paused mid performance, and even the rowdy drunk bikers in the corner were sober enough to listen in to the television.

One of the drunk bikers broke the silence after test subject two, who I called Corin now, stopped talking. "I knew it Terry, didn't I tell you it was all fake news?"

"Pay up billy," another guy with them yelled. The chatter began and irrelevant comments began to spread. Some talked about getting revenge on the government, while others drunkly mourned the loss of their loved ones. The whole scene was too many emotions for me to take in so I left. A part of me felt as if it was my duty to help these deranged strangers. I was an ambassador after all, but what did that silly title even mean anymore? It used to mean loyalty, order, and honor, but now it was nothing more than a mere reminder of all the time I had wasted worshipping a false theory.

So without paying my bill, I set my shot glass down, and walked down the mostly vacant streets of Nashville with no particular destination in mind. It seemed as if I walked everywhere without a destination now. I was a wanderer. The city that was once filled with lights, loud music, dancing, and laughter looked lonely. I had nowhere to stay the night, but I knew I never wanted to leave Nashville. It was an embodiment of myself. The city of life and song was now just as empty and cold as me, and oddly enough I found comfort in our similarities.

Along the road of my long journey to nowhere in particular, I stumbled along a vacant abandoned motel. A smirk grew on my face, "Home sweet home," I whispered into the lonely city. A bottle of tequila somehow ended up in my hand as the night ended, as well as a beat up picture of my sister. These two things became the only thing that willed me to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes I would talk to the picture of Ruthie, pretending she could hear me. It got lonely living alone with a bottle of alcohol as my only friend.

After three weeks of drinking away my sorrows, I started to give up hope. "I'm sorry Ruthie," I whispered to the decomposing picture of my sister. "I don't think I can live like this any longer." I sat the picture down, as I contemplated ending my life, and for a moment I thought I heard the picture talk back to me. I had officially lost my mind.

"Xay are you here?" Her voice was like a sweet melody, but one of the past only. I was drunk, but I knew better than to think my sister was actually talking to me through a picture. Then I heard five loud knocks on the door. Could she really be here? I mustered up all the strength I had left in my body to stumble to the door and unlink the chain, meant to keep strangers out, but the face behind the door was no stranger. My Ruth had actually found me.

"You look awful," she mocked me as she threw her arms around me.

"Well hello to you too sister," I replied, embracing her into a hug. "Long time no see."