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WARNING: this chapter contains talk of mental health and other things that may be triggering to some. if this is triggering for you, please don't read. message me and I will give you a summary of this chapter.

i hope you enjoy this triple update! just so you know, chapters 11, 12, and 13 are all grouped together for this update so make sure you read them in order! happy reading ;)

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"So, let's talk about something a little more superficial," Josie started. "Have y'all had your first kiss yet?"

I stayed silent, waiting for someone else to answer first.

"Yeah, I have," Dylan said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Same here," Jayden said. It stung a bit, knowing that he had kissed another girl, or even other girls... plural. But I knew that it shouldn't. It shouldn't matter to me at all actually. He's just a boy I met on a cruise.

"Me too," Josie said and turned her head to look at me. The boys followed her lead and looked at me expectantly. I blushed and looked down, not saying a word.

"Awww, she hasn't had her first kiss yet!" Josie exclaimed.

I hit her on the shoulder and mumbled, "shut up." Both boys laughed at my expense.

Josie leaned over and whispered in my ear, "you know, if you want your first kiss to happen now all I have to do is ask Jayden. He probably wouldn't hesitate to kiss you right now. In fact..." she trailed off as she leaned back and looked over at Jayden. "Hey Jayden, Ellis was wonder--"

I slapped my hand over her mouth before she could finish her sentence, my face already as red as a firetruck. "What are you doing?!" I whisper-shouted at her.

"Just trying to help!" She said back, acting all innocent.

"What were you saying?" Jayden asked, now engaged in the conversation Josie and I were having.

"Oh nothing, haha, just... girl things," I said, realizing that I definitely sound stupid.

Jayden looked at me knowingly. "What was Josie trying to say, Blondie?"

"I was joking with her, but I told her that if she wanted to have her first kiss now, that you'd be totally down to kiss her... right now," Josie said quickly.

My eyes widened as I whipped my head toward her looking at her with a mortified expression before groaning and dropping my head into my hands.

"Josie!" I exclaimed angrily. She just looked at me with an amused expression.

"She's not wrong you know?" Jayden spoke up.

"Ha! Knew it," Josie said as she reached across me and high-fived Jayden.

"You- I- what?!" I spluttered.

"She's right," Jayden said slowly. "If you wanted to, I would be down. But only if you want to, it's totally up to you," he said sweetly.

Did I actually want him to? I don't think it's a very good idea.

I shook my head. "No, it's ok. No offense, but I'd prefer for it to be a little more special," I told him honestly.

"No worries," he said as he looked away from me. "What do you guys say we go somewhere else? I'm getting bored."

"I'm down," Dylan said.

Josie and I both nodded. We all stood up and headed off to the hallways by the guestrooms, knowing that there wouldn't be any security or workers trolling over there. The only problem was that the only way to get down there was to cross the pool deck, which contained workers. We tried to act as nonchalant as we could as we quickly, but also calmly crossed the pool deck to get to the elevators. Once we were there, we all filed into the elevators in silence and went down to the fourth floor, where my room and Jayden's room is. When we got there, we camped out in one of the hallways that stemmed off of the main hallway that was a couple doors down from my room. Once we got there, we all plopped on the floor.

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