Under the sheets

Chapter 27 part 2; The edge

Dean walked me through the hallway, across my door to his, and each step felt longer and longer, he held my hand tight and while the thought had not crossed me I felt like he wasn't going to let me run away, that's how tight.

This was different from before, this was more heart-throbbing, more mind-melting, more... It felt like that moment right before a storm, a calmness in the air, a stillness, a silence so deep it had my mind doing: backflips, twirls, jumping jacks, the works. I mean I was walking into a guy's room after all.

His hand wrapped around mine reassuringly, nothing fit between our palms, not even air, even with the entire world of possibilities my brain was constructing in seconds there was a feeling of comfort attached, a certain tinge of innocence because I very well knew the way to his room yet he leads me and I let him hold my hand and walk me there as if I was a child again at the playground and I was following a boy who wanted to show me a cool bug he found.

I felt my ears and face grow hot, flustered with emotions, I wanted to stop and turn around because I was about to turn into a towel and drop on the floor if I didn't compose myself sooner. but before I could the door creaked open revealing Dean's room. He let go of my hand and I almost felt a whimper scape me. I couldn't for the life of me what was it about Dean that had me always wanting more.

The first thing that hit me was the scent, it smelled like Dean, I could not explain it, how? we just moved here and somehow the walls are accustomed to him? His room was bigger than mine and the space was used adequately, he had a little play area with a TV and PC, consoles, bean bag chairs, a couch, etc. The walls oozed with his personality and while I should feel intimidated in his space I didn't it felt oddly comforting to be here.

Dean flashed me his number one smile, and it made the butterflies in my stomach flare up, suddenly I became hyper-aware of my surroundings and where exactly I was, a feeling of exposure spread throughout my body, but I tried not to let it bother me. I noticed the silence, it wasn't uncomfortable or anything, it was a contemplative silence, passing glances, and noticed body language, as we stood in the middle of the room next to each other. Dean glanced at me and backed away slowly towards his bed, making no sudden movements almost as if to show me that it was alright, a gesture that annoyed me a bit because it seemed that he was operating under the notion that I really was an untamed creature.

I sat next to him on the bed, I was not scared of Dean and he needed to know that, While before I hesitated my own insecurities did not let me lunge, Dean was not the reason why I was reluctant about this situation, never Dean, I wasn't ready for what this between us had in store for me, or in what way this could shape me, I wasn't sure what to expect, I didn't know what would happen next, but I was not afraid to find out any more, I wanted him too, and damn it I was tired of him treating me like I would run away at any second!

-"You are being very quiet Blaire, that is so not like you" he suddenly broke through my thoughts pulling me back down to earth, my face and ears grew warm, he saw right through me, a smile drew at the corners of his mouth, making me bite my lower lip instantly, I wanted to scream, even though I was sure I wanted him, I was a nervous mess.

-"Do you want to sit on my lap?" he asked as he tapped his thighs and I think I opened my eyes wide enough for my eyeballs to roll away because he asked me so casually as if he was asking me for the time. I did want to sit on Dean's lap, but it was one of those things in life that you didn't know you wanted until you had it.

I began to move my butt onto his lap, as I close my eyes and let myself sink into him, he placed his hand around my hip and I didn't miss the sensation his fingers made as he slid them across the small of my back, as if it was the most natural thing as if this was something we did all the time, I felt secure, I rested my head on his shoulder, nothing else mattered, not even the nagging insecurities or the what-ifs and the unknowns.