S3 V5: What happens to us?

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Revali: I just realized something

Urbosa: this should be interesting

Mipha: pls do share

Revali: Uh, Once Link defeats Ganon do we just float around and bug him??

Mipha: No. we would be at peace. There would be no reason for us to remain. We will have completed our task

Daruk: sounds depressing

Midna: As life is sometimes

Urbosa: no need to comment

Midna: Just keeping it real here.

Mipha: yeah, well some people just don't like it

Midna: sucks for them

Revali: I honestly wonder what the after life is like?

Urbosa: probably amazing depending if you choose Paradiso or the Inferno

Mipha: I'd rather join Nayru

Daruk: idk

Link: Can you guys stop. I don't like getting buzzed

Revali: Buzzed 😉

Urbosa: Buzzed you say 😉

Link: 😑

Daruk: wtf

Mipha: Everything's a sex joke with Revali and Urbosa

Midna: I feel bad for their children

Urbosa: I'm fucking dead

Mipha: Revali's dead

Revali: NO, I know what you're implying

Daruk: I wonder if you can do that too in the afterlife

Link: wtf are you guys talking about?

Mipha: the future

Midna: they are talking about if they can do it in the afterlife

Daruk: What has my life become? 🤦‍♂️

Revali: Wasted cuz clearly we all died single

Urbosa: ha, I wonder if any of ya died a virgin

Revali: I hate you sometimes

Mipha: and that is something I could have gone without hearing

Daruk: Ha now we all need a spiritual cleansing

Link: I know how to do an exorcism 😁📿⚰️🔫

Mipha: 0_0

Urbosa: Do you mean when that ghost haunted Zelda?

Zelda: I can do a spiritual cleansing

Revali: dude continue to protect the world

Zelda: right sorry. Kinda getting tired here

Mipha: it's rude to keep her waiting

Zelda: I have been stuck in this castle for 100 fucking years

Urbosa: Princess we've all been stuck for 100 years

Revali: yeah, unfortunately someone wanted to out sleep, Sleeping Beauty

Link: Blame Zelda

Zelda: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

Urbosa: you studied the technology

Zelda: NOT HELPING

Urbosa: got it 👉👉

Link: Dear Hylia help me

Daruk: what are you doing right now?

Link: going to see a exorcist

Revali: Bad move, you still need us to complete your task

Mipha: I'm not hurting annoying besides wouldn't the specialist say to complete the wish of the ghosts?

Link: probably

Revali: I'm bored

Urbosa: Patience is vital in war

Mipha: indeed

Daruk: all good things come to those who wait

Revali: y'all will make such good scrolls one day

Urbosa: They already wrote ones about us I think

Link: Yeah, they did. There's a lot of deep history for Urbosa and Mipha.

Daruk: not the rest of us?

Link: There was some on you. But there was barely any for Revali.

Revali: Gee I wonder why

Urbosa: No descendants?

Daruk: Children?

Mipha: Friends

Midna: So he really did die a virgin

Revali: fuck you

Urbosa: It's not a big deal Midna

Mipha: True! I died as one

Revali: You don't count you had an extra 100 years to do that!

Daruk: I think all of us our virgins

Link: Except for Urbosa

Revali: How did she manage that?

Midna: She used to live in a desolate desert town where only women are allowed. Seems a bit...plausible unless...

Urbosa: Yes it is plausible

Midna: so you are saying that you did

Urbosa: if that's what you want to think then fine

Revali: I'm very confused

Urbosa: I think about 90 percent or so have been with a women at one point

Mipha: um, ok

Link: o-o

Urbosa: Don't act like it's weird, this is pretty normal

Link: sowwy

Daruk: Ah, a very enlightening conversation. Did we learn anything today?

Revali: I learned that clearly there's more going on behind those walls of Gerudo

Urbosa: Be mature

Link: I didn't see anything when I was in there

Urbosa: I- you- went- in there?!

Revali: How is it?

Link: Pretty quiet, Riju's nice

Mipha: who's she?

Link: The Chief. Apparently her mother died

Midna: I learned that Daruk and Mipha are the most sane of the group

Urbosa: really?

Link: oof

Mipha: I learned that clearly some people just don't know how mind their own business

Urbosa: Thank you Mipha

Zelda: While y'all are having heartfelt moments, I'm holding off a demon, so...plscomelikesoonidontknowhowlongicanlast

Link: Right I should get back to that

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