Duel of the fates

Chapter 48

Calypso's POV:

Why did I allow myself to be weak?

I lay in bed, staring at my ceiling. I felt so stupid for allowing myself to believe Anakin, but I didnt sense him lying.

Maybe he wasnt. But I still wouldn't forgive him. Or forget what he did, I couldn't.

I toss and turn a few more times before exasperatedly getting out of bed and throwing on a long white robe. I need a walk.

I walk out my room and wave off the guards who approach me, making sure they know I'm simply going for a walk. I dont have my lightsabers on me, haven't since I got here. I left them at the ocean home, I didn't imagine I'd need them.

I walk outside and look up to the moon, shining so bright. I look around me to make sure no ones watching and sit down on the edge of the balcony, dangling my feet.

Its not very ladylike to sit like this, especially in white, but as long as no one sees me, I'd rather be comfortably able to see the sky.

I missed Anakin. So badly. I wanted to be near him every minute, hearing him talk, hanging onto every word. I wanted to know how he got the scar over his eye, how he's been since Id seen him last, and everything he'd done for your family since then.

He'd been there for your father, Juniper and Aleksei every day. That should be enough for me to forgive him, right?

But he lied to you. Kept your mothers absence from you.

I hate that I hold onto things I cant change. Unforgiveness and holding onto the past was not the Jedi way.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

I hear from behind me, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turn and see Obiwan in his night clothes approaching me. He motions to the spot beside me and I nod.

"Whats on your mind, Cal?" he asks.

I debate telling him my problems. I know I can trust him, but I've been decidedly unwilling to discuss my thoughts and feelings with anyone. I figured Anakin might end up being the only exception.

"Anakin," I say and surprise myself with my candor.

Obiwan sighs.

"I knew it would be hard for you to see him again."

I look up at the moon and the words start to spill out, "We talked the first night I got back to Mandalore after my capture. But then... he just stopped. I didn't hear from him. Nothing. And then I learn that my father had been looking for my mother for MONTHS and I didn't know about it. I couldve helped him find her, save her and then none of this would've happened. But then, Anakin told me, you ordered him not to tell me. Why?" I say and I wipe angry tears away before meeting Obiwans eyes. He looks defeated.

"I didnt know," he starts, "the severity of your fathers mission. He hadnt contacted either of us. But then I returned to Mandalore and well," he says and looks away from me, out past the mountains, "you were broken. Completely shattered by your experience on Concordia. I had every intention of telling you, but I thought you would try to leave, and you were in no state to help anyone. I failed your father. I failed you. Im so sorry, Cal."

Tears start to spill down his cheeks but I cant find it in myself to comfort him. Maybe he was right not to tell me. Or maybe he wasnt. Wed never know now. Regardless I wouldve wanted to know, to save myself this pain and loss.

"Cal, please understand, everything I did was to protect you," he begs me and I stand up to leave. I'm too irrationally angrily to deal with his pleas.