Daring The Delinquents

Chapter 2 ~Hold on~

When you think of how you tell your parents you just got suspended you panic right? Well, normal people would. But not me because I only have my stepdad in my life right now and he drinks a lot now that Mum's passed away.

The moment I got home I didn't even bother to go inside. I knew that what I would see would just upset me so instead I walked straight through all the trees to the spot I always went to to be alone. It was like a clearing but there were a couple of trees. Orange leaves lying around them, blanketing the soft green grass.

As I sat outside in the sunshine soaking up that vitamin D I decided that I couldn't stay here. My mum was gone, my Dad had disappeared into literal thin air and my stepfather was a hopeless, grieving drunk. I had no friends. Barely any family. And a whole lot of people who hate me. So I had three choices.

1. Fake my suicide and risk being found and sent to jail.

2. Stay here and continue living this miserable life.

3. Live with the one person who actually cared about me, no matter how scatterbrained she was. My Aunt.

My Aunt Sierra was already looking after her son Monty so I decided to do the only option that wasn't illegal or completely uncool. I would stay here and continue being... Whoever I was pretending to be.

I missed the time when I could be myself, Lara had been the one person I could be myself around but because she was twice the amount of sassy I was she got expelled because she was laughing when I was bitchy towards Mr Bonacci.

Whatever happened, the girl I used to be was in the past and now I am someone different. People change. And I definitely had.

I took out my phone and played the first song that came to mind. 'Hold on' by Chord Overstreet. I loved to listen to and sing sad songs. They made me feel more positive for some reason which I was pretty sure was the opposite of what sad songs were supposed to do. But they made me feel understood. Like someone out there understood me and expressed my emotions when I wasn't able to.

Letting the first part play I earned my throat and began to sing the first verse.

"Loving and fighting,
Accusing, denying,
I can't imagine a world with you gone,
The joy and the chaos,
The demons we're made of,
I'd be so lost if you left me alone"

The words flowed out of me and I began to relax, leaning further into the tree. Taking a breath of the cool air surrounding me.

"You locked yourself in the bathroom,
Lying on the floor when I break in,
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat,
Can you hear me screaming,
'Please don't leave me'"

As I approached the chorus I let my voice grow softer yet have more power, effectively making the words carry over the wind like a whisper. Impossible to hear unless you listen hard or are quite close.

"Hold on, I still want you,
Come back, I still need you,
Take my hand, I'll make it right,
I swear to love you all my life,
Hold on, I still need you"

Memories, both good and bad overwhelmed me. Mum singing to me before I fell asleep, Mum taking her last breaths in that hospital bed.

Dad kissing me good morning, the man coming to our house to say that they haven't found him and would be calling off the investigation.

"A long endless highway,
You're silent beside me,
Drivin a nightmare I cant escape from
Helplessly praying,
The light isn't fading,
Hidin the shock and chill in my bones"