SMP Oneshots

Balancing Act [ n ]

this is a vent. this is mostly based on my own personal experiences. im not trying to romanticize this shit. if you a struggling with an ed or even think that you might, get help please. there are resources out there and you are not alone. i might not even keep this up, but i needed to get these feelings out in a safe way

main focus: noah

tw: eating disorder, starvation and extreme weight loss

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Noah was in a balancing act without a net. One wrong step would send him falling onto the floor below. He hadn't been walking on it long, if he turned back he could see the starting position. Just a few steps away, he could easily take them, get off the wire he stood on. But the end, that was miles away and yet so close, was so much more rewarding. He knew he could get there as long as he was careful. As long as he was in control.

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Noah was tired, yawning as he walked into the kitchen. He mumbled a greeting to Carson and Travis as he walked over to the fridge, looking if they had anything he could eat. His eyes scanned the shelves, scowling when he found nothing of interest. He closed the door, turning to his roommates, who were sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Morning Noah!" Travis' chipper attitude was always something that made Noah smile, "Do you want a bowl of cereal? Cooper is running errands since we have nothing else."

Noah paused, walking over to the table as he picked up the box. He did a quick scan of the nutrient facts, alarm bells going off when he saw the calorie count. He let out a laugh, shaking his head as he placed it back on the table, "I'm good, thanks. We got apples?"

"Don't think so? Check the fruit bowl, but that may have been on the list."

Noah checked the bowl himself, quiet victory music playing as he found one left. He picked it up, turning it over before he bit into it. It was a good apple, crisp and sweet. But most importantly, it was filling. He barely ate the entire thing before he felt full and tossed the core into the trash.

He let out a breath, turning to his roommates, putting his hands in his pockets, "Do we have any plans today?"

Travis' head shot up, nodding, "Oh! Yeah, yeah! Lemme tell you what we were thinking!"

Noah smiled as Travis started to talk his ear off, offering his input whenever it was needed. Carson groaned, this obviously not being the first time he had heard Travis' ideas. Noah didn't mind, he was in a good mood.

He was in control.

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"Excuse me? Can I get a box?" Noah asked the waiter who had come by to check on the table. The waiter nodded, hurrying away into the kitchen before returning with a small cardboard box. He smiled at them as he took the box, "Thank you so much." He started scraping the food off his plate, trying to ignore his friend's eyes on him.

"Is that all you're gonna eat dude?"

Noah froze, eyes moving from his plate up to Carson, who was giving him a puzzled look, "Yeah? I'm full. I'll eat it tomorrow."

Carson scowled, looking as if he wanted to say something again before he just shook his head, going back to eating his own dinner. Noah didn't see it as a big deal. He had eaten about half his meal, maybe less, but he was full. Or at least mostly. Packing it up now just made sense, easier to not be tempted to eat more if he couldn't see it.

Once all the food was packed away, he put the box away from himself, tuning into the petty argument that Cooper and Travis were having. Noah imminently jumped into it, offering his opinion. He laughed along with, making sure to avoid Carson's gaze.