SMP Oneshots

Cherry Wine [n•j]

so. not even gonna wait to say this, major fucking content warning. this talks about an unhealthy and extremely toxic relationship. please stay safe and i completely understand if you dont read this.

also, this one can be seen as either platonic or romantic, dealers choice 

main focus: noah and joko

tw: unhealthy and toxic relationship, panic attacks and mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms
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Joko couldn't breath. The air inside the car was suffocating, and it seemed to only get harder to breath as the seconds ticked by. He kept his eye locked on the road in front of them, trying to ignore the dread growing inside of his stomach as he saw how fast they were moving. He just wanted to get home, because at least at home he could lock himself in the bathroom. Here, in this car, he had no way to hide. No way to escape.

Joko felt his heart drop as the car slowed to a stop, the terrible sight of a red light now in front of him. His labored breathing stopped, him suddenly far too afraid of it being too loud. He balled his fists up, trying to stop his hands from their shaking. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and with shaky words, he spoke.

"Nate... I'm sorry."

The words were quiet, barely even audible. But in the deafening silence of the car, Joko may have just been yelling. Seconds ticked by, and Joko kept his eyes on the road. Taking note of how snow had started to fall from the sky and onto the wet pavement on the ground.

"You fucking should be."

Joko heart started racing, eyes darting to the side to glance at Nate. His face was shadowed, eyes staring up at the light as his hands tightly gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. The light in front of them turned green Nate immediately drove, causing Joko to grip onto the arm rest.

"I know, I know, I'm really sorry..."

The truth was that Joko was sorry, about what he should be sorry for was lost on him. He hadn't done anything that he could think of. They had gone out to a house party, and parties weren't exactly something that Joko liked to do, but he just wanted to get out of the house. Nate had made it clear that he wanted them to stick together, but not even ten minutes at the house he had gone off and left Joko alone. At first, he had been in a panic, unsure of what to do now that he was stuck in a stranger's house. But after about an hour, he had relaxed, had a few drinks and even fell into a friendly conversation with a few people.

But that moment was quickly over as Nate appeared out of the crowd, locking eyes with Joko as he moved towards him. To an outside perspective Nate didn't look angry, he had a smile on his face and when he got to the group Joko was talking with he jumped into laughter. But Joko knew something was up. The smile he had didn't reach his eyes, and the hand that had gone to Joko's arm was just a bit too hard with it's grip.

They didn't stay much longer, as Nate said they needed to leave and he started to drag Joko out. They got the car, and Nate pretty much shoved him inside. It wasn't until they were speeding home in that God awful silence that Joko realized he had forgotten his jacket at the house.

But even after thinking about the events over and over, to the point where Joko had a headache, he couldn't think of anything that he did that would've made Nate mad. But he knew he couldn't ask what he did, that would just make everything worse.

"Do you ever think Joko?" Joko didn't answer, not knowing if this he was supposed to say something or just let Nate keep yelling at him, "You embarrassed me. How is that fair to me?"

"It's not, I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

Nate scoffed, hand slamming down against the wheel, causing Joko to jump, "You always fucking say that, and you don't mean it! I'm so fucking sick of you and your lies," Joko watched with frightened eyes as Nate pulled their car over to the side of the road. Joko looked out of his own window, where the sky was now just pouring out snow. He looked over at Nate, whose eyes were just staring forward. Joko opened his mouth, to ask what was going on, why they had stopped, but before he could, Nate was once again speaking, "Get out."