You're an aspiring photographer in your second year of college at the School of Visual Arts. When your teacher pairs you up with the mysterious Kylo Ren, you would have never known that he would've changed your life for good, or worse?
|This is a mo...
After our bath, Kylo had some work to do so he went to his office. I stayed in his room for a couple hours getting lost in my thoughts once again. I love him, I truly love him, but I feel like I'm losing myself. I can't seem to get the voices out of my head and they keep on making decisions for me. Although they are comforting in a way, they rack my brain all the time. I know that whatever he did to me would cause permanent damage, but in a sick and twisted way I forgive him. Maybe it's because I need his love and reassurance or because I'm on a path to fully losing my mind.
There are so many questions that I need to ask him, but I don't want him to be upset with me. How is he the leader of a mafia? Are Phasma and Armitage part of it too? Am I going to actually lead with him? A voice in my head that seems to be the only thing thinking realistically is telling me to run. Run far away from him and never go back. Tell my friends and they will help me with the situation I'm in. The voices on the other hand are telling me to stay and be with him. To allow him to do whatever he pleases with me. To treasure him and take care of him. To not tell my friends because they will think I'm crazier than I am. It's almost as if my mind is at a constant war with itself on what the right thing to do is.
After thinking for a while longer, it hits me. Why would I allow myself to rely so heavily on him? Yes, I love him, but that doesn't mean I have to rely on him. Of course my friends care about me, they are my only family besides Kylo, now. Why was I so foolish to believe that they didn't care? I come to the realization that Kylo electrocuting me had a big effect on my mindset and that is why I relied on him so much in the first couple of hours. Now? Well now I don't need anyone to rely on. I love him and would do anything for him, but that doesn't mean I'm foolish enough to need him at all times. The voices in my head disagree with everything that I'm saying, but my mind is already set.
"𝘕𝘰, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶."
"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮."
"𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘠/𝘕."
"𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯."
I block out the voices as much as I can. As much as I have fallen for Kylo, I don't have to be his little pet. I may be a crazy like him, but I don't have to lean on him. I am a strong and independent women, even if the voices scream loud in my head I have to fight them off.
✩✩✩
By the time Kylo finishes in his office and I finish being inside of my head it's dinner time. I wear a gorgeous black top that Kylo bought for me and a pair of jeans. I put my Chanel necklace on, a pair of black boots, do my hair and makeup, then head down stairs. When I get there I see Phasma and Armitage helping Kylo prepare dinner. They all stop what they are doing and look at me. "How are you feeling, princess?" Kylo asks. I look at Phasma and Armitage, then make eye contact with him. "Fine, even though being electrocuted hurts like a bitch." I say. They all look at each other then continue to go back to what they were doing.
I walk to the dining room and sit in there until they finish cooking. I check my phone and see a text from Rey asking me where I was last night. I tell her I spent the night at a guys house, but I leave out the part of me starting to go crazy from being shocked at a high velocity. Oops. I wonder what my friends would say if they found out what happened to me. What would they say about the voices in my head that seem to try and get me to make the wrong decisions? Hm.
Kylo, Armitage, and Phasma all walk in with hands full of food. They made homemade chicken nuggets with mashed potatoes. We all eat in an uncomfortable silence and I notice Phasma and Armitage giving Kylo looks. Phasma is rather beautiful and strong. She has shoulder length blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. She seems to always be alert and has very straight posture. Then there is Hux who is rather charming, but is no Kylo. He has gorgeous red hair and green eyes. Both of them have accents, Phasma's reminds me of Rey's.
"So, tell me about yourselves Armitage and Phasma." I say as an attempt to cut the awkward tension. "You can call me Hux if you would like." He says. "How do you know Kylo, Hux?" I ask him. "It's a long story, but Kylo is like a brother to me. He has always been there for me when I have needed him the most." He says. "Are you part of the mafia, too?" I ask him getting straight to the point. "Yes, we both are. We owe it to Kylo for everything he has done for us." He states. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and ask "What exactly has he done for you?"
"I'm Phasma, as you know. Kylo and Hux are my family and we stick together. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us." She says, sidetracking away from the question I asked Hux. I nod and continue eating my food. "Lets cut to the chase, darling." Kylo says. "We feel that you would be a prominent part of our Mafia known as the First Order. We know that you have skills in boxing specifically and you do an amazing job at it. I can train you to become highly skilled with other aspects of combat and teach you how to use weapons." He says. "Why do you need me?" I ask him. "Because I care about you and I can see you being an amazing fighter one day." He states. "I'm crazy, not an idiot. Cut the bullshit and explain to me why you need me to help you. I'm sure you have other capable fighters." I say.
Kylo huffs and says "There is another mafia that is a threat to ours. They know almost all of the members in it, except for you. You can help us get intel on what they are planning to do to take down the First Order." He says. "That's why you wanted to keep our relationship a secret, so that they wouldn't find out." I say. "Smart girl. I can train you so that if anything ever goes wrong when you are undercover, you can protect yourself. I want you to join me. Together we can control and bring a new order to our mafia." He states. I look around the table and see the three of them staring at me. I think about my options on if I should do this, but the voices tell me there is only one answer.
I allow them to make the decision for me. "Fine, I'm in." I say with a smirk. The rest of the dinner consists of me getting to understand the First Order more and learning more about Hux and Phasma. By the time dinner ends we have already become good friends.
