My Poetry Outlet

1: I Pray One Day

Read until the end please...

I'd pray from the side
That you'd attempt a glance
Steal a look in my eyes
As the noise in my heart was too late to reclaim

I hoped one day you'd love me
One day people would envy us as the picture perfect standards
But you're already their king
And she's your queen every girl wants to be

I'd hear the murmurs from the crowd 
Rumors no one would shout
But never a bad thing
I just wish they were about us
And not said to my face

Is it that hard to stay away?
Say let me not waste my time
Because clearly you can live a life without me
But I cry and then I throw my hands in the air
Screaming, shouting you don't care
What does she have that I don't?

I pray one day you'll love me
Lord I know that's not what you're there for
But would you please hear my prayer
I'm head over heals for this guy
He screams my name until I cry
Lays a hand on me until I'm right
Cause right means I no longer cry
And I shut up about why he's still with her
And why my ring isn't hers

I pray one day you'll love me
For the real me because I'm your escape from the real world
And not because I'm as real as the world hurts

I hear the murmurs
So I'll grin and bear the rumors
About why you're still with her
And how I'm naive to have thought our love could last us
Or if it was real to begin with
From people who don't live with us
Believe in God
Or agree on how our lives should end up
From this wretched perspective I thought would be a fairytale.
Until I can save myself.

Author's intention: This was the first poem I wrote during quarantine, and I consider it my first poem because it has a direction and meaning behind it. When I first started writing this I had the first line from singing it randomly. "I'd pray one day you'd love me." I started writing and with no clear direction. It started sounding like a clique song about a girl liking a boy who is clearly popular but has a girlfriend who she could never compare to. Most will think this. But then it takes a turn when I dig deeper to the emotions of comparing oneself. Why must the narrator play a desperate, love sick character? Therefore, I looked at an opposite approach, and it is being "the other girl" or partner. Such as a marriage, affairs, and abuse. The murmurs turned to town gossip that no one wants to be apart of. The prayers turned from a girl wanting a guy to like her, to a woman praying, hoping for a better life for herself. I am not very religious myself but I know it helps to have faith in something. Thus began my journey in writing poetry about a variety of topics and my love for symbolism, metaphors, and purpose.

Hope someone is still here, please drop any thoughts and potential titles!
- LA Song