My Poetry Outlet

2: Shivers

I feel the shivers
The breeze crawling its nerves on top of me
Making its way up my spine
Waiting to shake the breaking point
Until the wait makes my decision
I feel so indifferent
Silence being my sight
Until it's too much and I tremble from my rage

Don't mistake my silence for ignorance
Time is my resource
But empathy is my boundary
I hear both sides
And your cries for compassion
Waiting for someone to be your ally
But I'd rather not interfere
Rather let the story unfold

I feel your overflowing boat
Yearning for refuge
And your wrecking ball waiting to smash their cement
But who am I to speak when we're all in different mindsets?

Dissecting each vibration
And star touch up to my neck
Makes me think it's my sponge absorbing your feelings times two
And connecting the dots
Waiting to shatter my silence lost in the shadow
But all hope for a sunny day is lost
Because the spider never reaches my mouth
As my mind is untouched
And tugging it away
Before I can't take back what I say

I trade your clarity for my
Unwelcomed
Untouched
Wrecking ball

Author's Intention: I wrote this based on a feeling I had when trapped in a car with people arguing. I have had this feeling before when I was younger and it is always when I'm trapped in the middle of an argument, especially when it is between your loved ones. The "shiver" is exactly how I try to describe it. A chill or something crawling up your spine. I consider myself an empathetic person therefore, even when I'm trapped in the middle of an argument I am always listening. Even if it does not involve me which is why I say "Time is my resource." I take the time to listen and try to understand both sides. The chill is the anger I feel second handedly but I never speak up because I choose not to speak on something that is not my business or I don't have the full story on. In this specific argument, I felt one of my loved one's "yearning for refuge." The person was almost outnumbered because no one understood that all they wanted was compassion, an ally, the feeling of support and comfort. Finally, the spider is the crawling sensation because even though I feel second handed anger and understand both sides, I never let it make me vocal. I don't try to be a mediator or bring "clarity" because I know it would be welcomed and lead to a bigger argument.

-LA Song