Awkward glances and lost chances
*Dan's POV*
It was another regular day at school. Nothing particularly interesting happened and I doubt anything ever will happen that could potentially captivate you.
I'm just one of those teenagers who, in class, just lurks around in an insignificant manner, not causing any disruption and just getting on with the work set.
I never had the confidence to raise my hand to answer a question, even if I was a hundred percent sure of my answer, I just couldn't stand the fact of people paying attention to me. I hated it.
What if I accidentally said something really embarrassing, such as "I peed the bed last night", (which I did not, if you're interested). The feeling of embarrassment just horrifies me. That is why I tend to be shy. Not because I don't want to speak, but because I'd rather not ramble out something and then end up hating myself for it.
This is why I have never had the confidence to speak to my crush.
Yes I have a crush. Typical, the shy, unconfident kid in the corner has a massive whopping crush but is too afraid to do anything but sit and stare.
I know I should react but I simply can't bring myself to facing the facts.
I am gay, yes. I have a crush on a boy, of course. However the one thing holding me back is that... I don't know his sexuality. Not a clue.
He never notices me in class and I've only spoken to him once and that was to borrow a pencil.
Oh, his name is Phil. I forgot to tell you that, sorry. Heh.
The one thing I'm sure about though is that I've never stared at someone for such long periods of time, until I lay my eyes upon Phil.
I just can't keep my eyes off him.
God.
I feel obliged to describe him now, since you seem interested.
I created a little profile about him for you, including all the facts I've accumulated about him over the past few months:
Name: Philip Michael Lester
DOB: 30th January
Favourite animal: Lion (To an extent where he obsesses over them)
Favourite colour: Blue
Favourite band: Muse
Appearance: 6" 2 (Tall for his age, similar to me) with pale skin and thick, black hair. He has a gorgeous side fringe, swept to the left (his right) and the most electrifying blue eyes.
They stun me every time.
His eyes.
They're what can't stop me from staring.
And everything about him.
Not exaggerating, at all.
-
It was 2:36 in the afternoon and I was half way through Geography, quietly sat sketching out a chart comparing global waste production.
Phil was sat on a table half way across the class and he was currently talking to Amy, a sweet girl with blonde hair and hazel eyes.
They always seemed to be chatting and it kinda got me jealous, seeing him smile and grin at her.
Phil's mine, not yours Missy.
Hands off.
Mine.
Hiss.
I'm awful when it comes to jealously...
I found myself sighing a lot through the lesson because of this and at one point the teacher confronted me in front of the whole class.
"Daniel, can you please stop being such a misery", Mrs Summers groaned rudely.
How dare she force the attention of everyone upon me.
I didn't want 28 sets of eyes gazing upon me like some kind of circus act.
I'd never back-chatted a teacher but, to be honest, I'd wanted to in a long time.
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss, it's just all this talk about waste is making me realise that quite frankly your teaching skills are very crap indeed", I replied, slouching in my seat, staring her determinedly in the eyes.
"Daniel, shut up, you're acting like a peasant", She shouted back.
How fucking dare she.
That bitch did not just say that.
Bloody hell.
I had the intention to stand up and slap her across the face but I'd probably get suspended so instead, once more, like the well behaved pupil I was, I apologised and continued to get on with my work.
There were 20 minutes left of the lesson and I happened to be staring at Phil until he peered up. He looked at me and suddenly waved. My eyes widened and a small smile spread across my face. I waved gently back, unsure of why he was doing this until I saw his stare move to the left.
Oh no.
Not again.
Phil was actually waving to Toby who happened to come back into the classroom after having his braces tightened.
My cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment and I hung my head low, biting my lip.
"Dan, you idiot", I muttered, mentally face palming myself.
Luckily Phil hadn't seen me awkwardly wave back, not that he'd ever noticed me.
I sat in class for the remaining minutes until it was finally time to pack up.
I flung all my equipment into my bag and as soon as the teacher dismissed us, I dashed out of the classroom as soon as I could, avoiding anymore interaction.
I walked home quickly before lying down on the sofa and staring at my feet.
My Mum wasn't home and my Dad was at work so I could freely roam the house as I pleased.
I thought long and hard about Phil.
Most of those thoughts were sexually orientated but some were more determined.
Eventually I decided that tomorrow I would try to communicate with Phil, in any way possible.
The goal of the conversation would be to try and get his contact details or try to meet up with him some where.
Other times I would've wussed out but this time, I felt more confident than ever.
Planet Phil, here comes Dan. ;]
*Trips over Saturn in the process*
YOU ARE READING
Phan: Blurred Admirer - High School AU
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