Freeing or Fleeing

Chapter Seven - A Ray of Sunshine

Chapter Seven

Unfortunately, my cowardice trait kicked in that moment and I decided against mentioning the reason to his questioning of my behaviour. I began to overthink. Even as he fired more questions at me, his frustration grew every second. All the times that I attempted to tell him about my concerns towards his mother came flashing before my eyes and the fact that they were always brushed off in a defensive state towards her aided in my decision to hold back on it. So much for his promise of supporting me through everything that life throws at us. The way he acts, you'd think we had no choice in our marriage but it was a choice. My character was what drew him to me in the first, or so he used to say, so why question my integrity now?

In the end, I opted for a shrug and that threw him over the edge. With the last few angered words leaving his mouth, he made one swift movement out of the room. I heard the front door shut moments later. I guess I really did it this time and he had to leave the house because of me. I sighed, my whole body overcoming with sadness. When did life get like this? My vision blurred with tears for the second time that day, only this time it wasn't for a happy occasion.

I gritted my teeth, urging myself not to cry. I was pathetic; I couldn't keep my parents happy, I couldn't keep my in-laws happy and I most definitely couldn't keep my husband happy. I felt the warm watery liquid run down my cheeks and when they started, I couldn't get them to stop. My heart ached for the situation I was in and I sat there for ages feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I wanted to go to a new place, a country that no one knew me and start afresh. I wanted so bad for my life to be different at that point but I knew I was stuck there.

I don't know when but eventually my mind drifted to the girl at the park and, while I was feeling sorry for myself as I bawled my eyes out, there she was calling to her Lord through her tears. I recalled that glimmer of hope in her and that's when I started calling upon Allah. I wanted what I saw in her. Although I felt weak, somehow I managed to lift my arms up, my hands in front of my face and spoke to my Lord. It wasn't long after, when I heard Mum call me from downstairs.

My supplication was cut short but not before I managed to say a short supplication for that girl and I wiped my face, snot and all, onto the sleeve of my top. I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked at how bad I looked. Not only were my eyes puffy but they were also disgustingly red. The tip of my nose was also red and my cheeks weren't speared from the horror either. I couldn't face Mum like this no matter how annoyed she would be for my delay in responding to her. I had to go to the bathroom and fix myself first and so that's what I did. I rinsed my mouth and washed my face with cold water several times. After repeating this for ten minutes, I was in a position I could finally face Mum.

When I finally graced Mum with my presence, she didn't look at all too happy. What did I even expect?

She was in the living room, watching TV.

"Yes, Mum?"

I stood in front of her, blocking her view of the TV.

"Don't Mum me! I've been calling you for ages now, are you deaf? And here you are, strolling into the room like you own the world. If you really consider me your Mum you should come to me the minute I call you, okay?" She ranted, waving the TV remote at me in a way to point at me.

"Okay," I responded quietly, looking down at the floor, sheepishly.

I wished I had stayed upstairs longer if she was going to shout at me anyway.

"Anyways, what did you do to my son?" she growled, her eyebrows knitting together.

"N-nothing." My eyes widened. I was not expecting her to bring this up. I couldn't possibly tell her what happened.