Oops...I Did It Again

Car maintenance is a lifesaver

My second kill came not long after the first. This time I was recommended and quite a few people approached me about the target. I was asked to attack a bank manager by his employees who apparently were really fed up with his behaviour. I know what you're thinking now: that's quite a dramatic reaction to someone simply not showing respect! But I don't question, I just do what I'm asked.

It seems that this man, I'll name him William. William had the tendency to ignore all borders and disrespect everyone and anyone just because he thought he could. Well not anymore.

For this kill I wanted to go big and therefor I needed to get to know my target even better than the first one. So I opened a new bank account with the bank William worked at, I wanted a new one anyway so while I was there I could get it over with. He helped me set up the account and get every information I needed. At first I thought he was a very nice man and couldn't understand the problems of his employees. However not long into the conversation he became quite disrespectful and treated me like a stupid little girl that had no idea of the world around her. That really made me furious and I wanted to end his life right there and then. But I couldn't do that for a few reasons. Number one was that I still needed a new account. Number two that I already had a plan and last but not least number three was that I didn't want the cleaning crew to do overtime to clean up a gross murder scene. I really didn't think it would be fair on them.

After I got all the details and necessary information I immediately left the bank and started finishing my plan. I waited outside the bank for William to leave his work to go home. I followed him, which was a lot easier than last time I tried that. Even though he didn't know what respect meant he at least knew how to steer a vehicle without endangering the entire human race just by driving a mile from and to work. He knew speed limits and was familiar with the principle of traffic lights. Honestly that was quite impressive compared to the rest of the people traveling the streets every day. Something else that I found rather interesting was that even though he worked in a bank and made quite a bit of money he was living what seemed like barely surviving. His house was in a rundown part of town and his car was probably from the mid 90's and looked like it. I kept following him every day for a week trying to find out his daily routine for things and lo and behold he didn't change a thing each day. Every day he would get up around 6:30 in the morning, take a shower and make breakfast. After that it was time to get ready for work and leave around 7:15. He got in his car to take the fifteen minute drive to work. On the way he would stop at a little bakery and get some breakfast.

It was a nice little shop and I let me tell you they had the best cookies I've ever had in my entire life. Not that my life has been very long at that point, I was only 23 at that time but I did have my fair share of cookies by then. I just love cookies, they're just delicious if you ask me. Yeah no I know you didn't but I'll told you anyways.

Back to the story. After his stop at the bakery he wouldn't stop again until he arrived at the bank. Usually it was 7:40 then giving him 20 minutes until he started to be at least somewhat nice to people.

He would finish work around five in the afternoon. Of course the bank was open for a lot longer but that didn't matter to him. Well I didn't mind either because that meant I could leave just as early as him and I'm very lazy so you won't hear me complaining. After leaving, he went grocery shopping and giving me the chance to do so too. Call me the queen of multitasking. He went home after that and didn't leave again until he had to go back to work. What a boring man, right?

That made executing my plan rather easy. I wanted to blow up his car with him preferably sitting in it. But if he stood next to it I wouldn't mind either. Just near the car would be fine. I went out and searched for someone selling sticky bombs cheap, very bad idea in hindsight. I mean the cheap bomb not the bomb at all! Don't be so boring. After a few days of search I finally found a young man basically throwing them out for a proper handshake. Again, bad idea. I bought five thinking I made the deal of a lifetime. Being in a great mood after that I drove over to William's house and car. Once arrived I tried getting beneath his car to place the bomb near the fuel tank. Emphasis on tried. No matter what I did it proved to be extremely hard to get under this vehicle. But eventually I managed with a lot of squeezing and shuffling I managed to place half my body where I needed it to be. I was indeed able to stick the bomb where I planned on putting it, what I wasn't able to do was get out from under there. It must have taken at least half an hour until I was free and gone from that place. That really was not comfortable at all. However I was very excited if this would work. I was so excited that, for some reason that remains unknown to me, I came back super early the next morning to see what was going on. When he came out in his car if was so jittery that I dropped the detonator on my own car floor. When I looked back up he was already on his way to the little bakery. As usual he stopped there. I know that would've been a great opportunity but I just couldn't blow up the cookies, they were just too delicious. So I waited until he arrived at the bank. Once he was in the parking lot there I couldn't do it either because if was unfortunately to engaged in some squirrels playing with each other, meaning I missed him getting out of the car and into the building. Well I just decided to wait until he finished work.

William finished his work a little later that day andwhen he exited the building I was ready to blow him into the stratosphere. He gotinto his car and left the parking lot. Just before he turned onto the street I pressedthe button to detonate the sticky bomb. Wait, did I say sticky bomb? I meantnot-so-sticky bomb. What I mean do you ask? Well when he drove over the littlespeed bump at the entrance of the lot that shitty little thing fell right offand I was left with the explosion a crackling pea makes. And before you ask,yes it was made in china and no I didn't know better back then. You can'timagine how I felt. I'm pretty sure I started cursing like a sailor. But that'sirrelevant now. The main point is I did get that that lucky bastard killed.Apparently while I was busy sticking the non-sticky bomb to the car I brokesomething that prevented the brakes from working or something. What I mean is,the car somehow didn't respond to William's action and went straight down acliff crushing the man inside while doing summersaults down said cliff. Thepolice said it was an accident caused by some worn down parts that neededfixing a long time ago, therefore no one suspected me to have anything to dowith it. That, as you probably can imagine, was fine by me. After all dead isdead and nowhere in the contract did it say how that manager was supposed todie.