]Sanscest Oneshots[

Clinging to the hope [Classic x Red/Kustard]

For QuristleDaPenguin.

Warning: self-harm, well kind of.

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Another day, another reset.

It all doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if we come out on surface, because we will always come back to the underground.

It doesn't matter that they have killed everybody many times. They will do it again.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter!

Nothing matters!

Classic gasped and started gulping a lot of air, opening his eyes in process. He suddenly coughed from inhaling too much air too fast. Finally, it ended and his head collapsed on the pillow. However, as soon as he did that, the intrusive thoughts started appearing again.

He was currently at Red's house. He just had to get out of his universe, he wasn't able to act like he was happy anymore.

Before Sans could do anything, he felt tears prickling at the corner of his eye sockets. He just wanted all of this to stop, the resets, the killing, the fake happiness.

Not so long ago, Classic realised that he was suffering from ptsd. To be honest he probably had from long time ago, but then he didn't bother to think about it. And his life was a nightmare since then. He was paranoid, always tired, almost empty at times. Nothing made him happy anymore, even his puns have stopped. His daily life consisted of teleporting to his station and staying there with empty eye sockets. He didn't even eat much nor sleep. Normally, sleep would be his escape, not now though. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw flashbacks of Frisk killing everybody and so, also had nightmares frequently.

As for now, he hadn't slept for few days, only taking short naps when he really couldn't do anything anymore.

Today he just couldn't stand all of this and so, he teleported to Red's house in his AU. He didn't really know why, perhaps he didn't want to be alone. Unfortunately  Red nor even his brother were home, so he just plopped down on the couch trying to wait patiently. His mind wasn't giving him a good time though.

Classic could feel his throat getting tighter and his tears threatening to fall. He didn't even know why, he was trying his best not to let them. That's when his eyes landed on the entrance of the kitchen and then at the knives stored in there. At first he only glanced at them, but then he quickly teleported, snatched one of them and came back to the couch.

It was a particularly sharp one...

He looked at it for a moment, wondering why he had even done that. He put his finger at the top of it and suddenly he felt pain and some blood trickling down his hand.

That's when he got a burning desire to do that again. It hurt, yes, but maybe the pain would be able to make him forget, make him feel anything besides this emptiness.

He brought the knife closer to his wrist. "So that's what it came to." He though not really caring.

The item was closer and closer and he finally felt his tears running down his face, but his sockets were empty.

The knife was now on his wrist and he was ready to cut, when suddenly-

"Classic?"

The said skeleton looked up and saw Red in front of him, the knife still in the same place. He must have entered when he wasn't paying attention, but to be honest he didn't really care now. He just wanted to hurt himself so badly.

"Classic no, what are you-! Give it to me! Ya can't-" Red yelled panicked and rushed to the other's side, took the knife and throw it away. When he was done with that, he put his hands on Classic's shoulders and shook him frantically.

"Sans, what the hell? Why were you trying to hurt yourself?! Wait- are you crying? Sans, tell me what happened!"

From the moment the sharp item was thrown away, Classic has been looking down at his now empty hands.

"...Why, why have you done that? I just wanted to make myself feel better, and I can't even do that?" He asked dimly.

Red's eyes widened at that. He has never seen him so... numb. He knew about his depression and problems with resets of course, but still, why now?

"Classic... please, tell me what happened." Red asked gently sitting next to him on the couch.

The skeleton just sighed and decides to spill, he didn't care right now anyway.

"The resets. They're never-ending. It will never stop. The killing will never stop. We will go on the surface only to return underground and fill me with false hope. Nothing matters! No matter what I do or say everyone will forget and I will have to start again. No matter how many times I will kill the human, they will always come back! I just want to rest! I haven't slept well for so long Red! Nothing brings me happiness anymore, not even Papyrus. I can't do it anymore, I j-just can't-!" While he was speaking his voice got faster and faster and also louder signalling his distress. At the end his voice finally cracked and he burst into tears hiding his face in his hands.

Not even a second later he felt hands wrapping around him. He looked up at Red with his watery sockets and saw him wearing a worried expression. That didn't stop his cries though.

"Classic, you know I'm not the best at it... but listen. It will end eventually. I know it's hard, I really do. I mean, the human will eventually get bored or feel quilty, they're not a soulless being, right? They can't do it their whole life. So please, hold onto that thought. And please... do. Not. Harm. Yourself." Red reassured him, as he started rubbing his back comfortingly.

He looked down at Classic and saw him opening his mouth, but he quickly stopped him. "You still have Papyrus, Toriel and other. I know that's it's the same boring pattern, but if you need someone who understands... you can come to me. I... I really care about you, y'know?"

Classic's head was resting on Red's chest now. He calmed down a little listening to his words. He wasn't sure why, but he started to believe in them. Perhaps he was right...? He still wasn't sure, but he desperately clung onto this bit of hope.

And did Red just said he cared about him? He wasn't usually so thoughtful.

"Really?" Classic asked with a tired voice.

"Y-Yeah really." Red stuttered a little.

"Thanks."

There was a long silence when the Underfell skeleton brought the other closer to him, tightening his grasp.

"Y'know, you should probably get some sleep." Red suggested getting Classic out of his thoughts.

"You have no idea how much I would love to, but... the nightmares..." Classic whimpered a little.

"I know, but... you look very tired now. Maybe-maybe you have some idea of what would help you fall asleep?"

Classic looked like he was trying hard to think of something, but then he seemingly gave up on the idea.

"Could you stay with me and umm, hold my hand?" He asked almost automatically, at the end of the sentence realizing what he just asked for and flushed a bit. Was that a weird thing to request? Probably, but... he felt safe with Red.

The skeleton holding him looked surprised, but quickly smiled softly at him. "Sure, if that will help you. Now c'mon, you're sleeping in my bed, there's no way I'm letting you come back to your AU."

Red got up and caught the other's hand into his own, dragging him upstairs. Classic - too tired after his breakdown - only managed to whisper a quiet "thanks.", but a small smile appeared on his face as well.

The same thing happened when he was already laying comfortably in bed, with Red holding his hand. Maybe he was right after all. Maybe all of his misery would end one day. And until then he has his friend, who would help him through it. Yeah, that's his hope. He was finally filled with calmness, as he closed his eyes and felt Red's fingers grip his tightly.