Sinful Devotion

Chapter 5

"every broken heart is a lesson."

Chapter 5

I can feel their eyes on me but I pretend not to notice as I slowly unwrap half part of my sandwich and take a bite out of it. I turn to look at Nile beside me and although I catch her looking at me, she quickly looks away pretending I didn't see her and poking at her plate of rice packed straight from home.

I look away playing into the game of pretense and looking back at my sandwich. That is until Jamal starts humming 'Silent Night'.

"Mal," I fix him a look. "What is it?"

He stop humming, looking at me with a fake innocent look. "Hm? What is what?"

"What is wrong with you all?" I look away from him to fix everyone at the table a look, including Lou who was slowly chewing on an apple. "Why are you guys looking at me?"

"We are?" Jamal asks, making me want to pick up a fork and force into his face. "I didn't notice. Did you, Nile?"

Nile shakes her head, "nope, nothing at all."

"Okay, I'm just going to say it," Darcy starts and Jamal and Nile start protesting. I narrow my eyes at Darcy knowing if I'm getting an explanation it's from her. "Israel, are you okay?"

I blink, not expecting to hear that. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Darcy repeats, then points her finger at me. "You look a bit fine but then, you have the scarf on."

On mentioning it, my hand reaches up to touch as if just realizing I have it on. Yes, after I woke up in it, I was a bit too gloomy to part with it so I decided to wear it to school today. I sigh, at least she wasn't talking about my looks all that much. Over the months I might have perfected the look of looking fine when not fine and masking up my sleep deprived face. Practice really makes perfect.

"Uh, so?"

Nile speaks up now, "you only wear the scarf on bad days. Did you hear anything about Sky?"

"I wear the scarf on good days too," I refute, fisting up the woolen material in my palm.

Darcy, Jamal and Nile all narrow their eyes at me as if saying, "really?" And I sigh in defeat.

"I'm fine really and I didn't hear anything about Sky." Unfortunately.

"Then did you have nightmares?" Darcy asks, "are the pills finished?"

My eyes widen and ears peck up as she asks that out loud and Jamal immediately follows up with another question of his. "What pills?"

"Um," I try and fail to pass a silent message to Darcy to shut up.

"Sleeping pills," Darcy innocently eats a mouth full. "It helps a lot."

"Sleeping pills?" Nile and Mal echo, eye widening and looking at me.

"Um-"

"What?" Darcy asks on my behalf, giving them puzzled looks.

"Israel, why do you take sleeping pills?" Jamal asks, worry written all over his face.