Fleeting Moments

Chapter 16: Isaac

#HHFM Chapter 16:

Isaac

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"Kumalma ka nga!"

"Are you shouting at me?!"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o kakabahan na baka biglang magkaroon ng giyera dito sa sasakyan. Ryo's hold on my hand tightened a bit. I felt the fingers of his other hand raking through my hair. Maingay na ang kalabog ng dibdib ko sa kaba tapos ang ingay pa sa sasakyan.

"Hindi kita sinisigawan," mas kalmadong sabi ni Tito Finn. "Sorry na."

I was right when I said that Ryo got most of his character from his mother. Sabay silang kinabahan. Sabay silang praning na praning kanina. Tito was so chill, and that drove Tita mad. Si Ryo, hindi ko alam kung humihinga pa ba nang alalayan akong bumaba papunta sa sasakyan. I told him that it doesn't hurt . . . yet. I know that the contractions are soon to follow, at iyon ang sigurado akong masakit. I was already bracing myself for that type of pain. Sa mga nabasa ko pa nga lang, napapakapit na ako sa upuan ko kung paano d-in-escribe ang sakit. But for now, I don't feel anything painful. Except for, maybe, my head? Kanina pa kasi sila nagsisigawan sa sasakyan at ang sakit sa tainga at ulo.

"No, you shouted at me!" Tita fired back. Napahilot na lang ako sa sentido. I just want to get to the hospital peacefully, pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko patatahimikin ang isang Mirae Lim. "Mamarkahan ko ang araw na 'to, Finnigan!"

I sighed. Pagmulat ko, naabutan ko si Ryo na nakatingin sa akin. Halos tuluyang mawala na ang kulay sa mukha niya. He gently squeezed my hand before looking away.

"My, 'wag kayong maingay," saway niya. Natahimik nga ang sasakyan pagkatapos n'on. Ryo's palm was getting a little bit sweaty, but I didn't mind. I felt like if I were to let go of his hand, lalo lang siyang mamamawis sa kaba. Holding his hand somehow calms me down, too. I couldn't process how nervous I was, because I got too occupied on making sure he wouldn't worry too much.

This could take several hours, maybe even days. I would hold his hand until then.

Pagkarating sa ospital, gusto ko nang humiram ng phone kay Ryo at sabihing tawagan sina Nanay. Saka lang nag-sink in sa aking manganganak na ako nang mapalibutan na ako ng puting dingding at mga nurse. For a moment there, I chickened out. But I knew that the moment I tell my parents about my delivery, bibiyahe agad sila papunta rito. I was not even sure if they had the budget to do that kaya hindi ako puwedeng tumawag. Nilapirot ko na ang kamay ni Ryo nang makaramdam na rin ng kaba. I thought I could have my delivery jitters under control, but I thought wrong!

Binitiwan ko ang kamay ni Ryo dahil nabugbog ko na iyon panigurado. I clasped my hands together instead. I'd rather break my own fingers than break his. Magba-basketball pa siya, hindi puwedeng mabali ko ang mga buto-buto niya.

"Hey." The hand I let go just crawled back to me, na parang hindi kayang mawalay sa akin kahit sandali. He reached for my face and I almost melted upon feeling his thumb stroke my cheek. He was still as pale as a ghost. We're both worried. Hindi ko na alam kung paano kami kakalmang pareho.

Bumaba ang kamay niya para muling hagipin ang kamay ko. Ilang beses akong huminga nang malalim. His thumb carefully stroked my hand, and I tried my best not to squeeze his fingers.

"Kaya mo pa, Ceskang?" he whispered. The contractions have not started, yet. Tumango ako kahit na hindi sigurado.

I thought that if I would read about the experiences of first-time moms like me, I would be less scared and more prepared. Pero sa ngayon, parang lumala yata ang takot ko dahil panay ang replay sa isip ko ng lahat ng nabasa ko.