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It's been a month since I've been accepted as their manager.
I can now finally say that it's so satisfying yet very tiring at the same time. But, things are still going the same way for me. Every time that Kuroo will try to talk to me, I will act like I'm busy reading notes about volleyball. Sometimes, when he will sit near to me, I will stand up and join Yaku and Lev on their warm-ups. I don't want him to feel that we're already okay just because I agreed to be their team manager.
No, nothing changed about how I see him. Kuroo is still a playboy for me, the exact man I fell in loved months from now. The one who took my innocence away, the one who broke my heart, the one who shares my little dirty secret.
It's still the same. Every time that those memories appear on my mind, my blood will just automatically boil and any second, tears might escape from my eyes. The other members, especially Yaku, starts to notice me being distant to their captain. I can't blame him though. Every after practice, I will rush to their sides, giving them their towels and water bottles...except for Kuroo.
"Y/N, want to grab snacks with us before going home?"
I blinked twice, seeing the tall, white-haired boy in front of me.
"Sure-"
"Can I come?" We heard the team captain's question as he closed his locker's door, slinging his bag into his shoulders afterward.
Lev cheered. "The more, the merrier! You in, Y/N?"
I smiled sheepishly, grabbing my bag from the bleachers. I changed my mind. Good thing, my phone vibrated as I received a text from my mother.
"S-Sorry," I excused, fidgeting my fingers. "I have to go. M-My mother just texted me and she asked me to do something important."
I saw everyone's faces painted with disappointment, especially Kuroo's. It was a lame excuse though, but good thing they bought it.
"Maybe next time."
I gave them a last reassuring smile before rushing outside the gym.
From: Mom <3
Are you home, sweetie? If not, take your time with the team, okay? Stay safe.
No Mom, I'm going home.
= = = = =
I tapped the tip of my pen at my book, rereading the same sentence all over again because I just can't get the point of the story. The only thing that is replaying on my mind is the beach practice we're going to do this coming weekend. I filed a reservation at the Sol y Luna's Beach, just two kilometers away from the school.
The whole team agreed though, as well as the coach, saying that this is a great opportunity to test their skills. We have nothing to do this coming Saturday and Sunday so we'll be spending two days and a night at the place. Well, I'm the one that assigned the rooms. I reserved another room just for me and my brother while the rest of the team will share at one.
I accepted no objections.
"Y/N-chan!"
I looked up. "Shh, Yaku! Silence!"
"Oh, shoot." He smiled, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry..."
We both chuckled before he opened his Physics' textbook, sitting across me. Right, there'll be no practice for today since me, Kuroo, Kenma and the other two other irregular members of the team are sharing the same classes, we will have a quiz tomorrow at three major subjects so we canceled practice so we can focus at reviewing.
"You got a quiz tomorrow too?" I asked Yaku, watching as his eyebrows twitch while reading a passage at his book.
I didn't know that he's this adorable.
"Nope. Just doing an advanced reading, Y/N-chan."
"Oh," A model student. "That's great."
I refrained from talking again (since I'm very talkative) and disturbing Yaku from reviewing his future lessons but he was the one who broke the silence between us.
"Say, Y/N-chan."
I hummed. "Yes?"
"By any chance, are you avoiding Kuroo?"
My heart hammered so fast inside my chest. I didn't expect him to ask me directly about this and the way he said those words are just too blunt. Are my actions really getting that evident and obvious now?
"I-I'm sorry, it looks like you're distant from him. I noticed it weeks ago. Is it okay to ask you?"
Taking a very deep breath, I tapped my pen once on my textbook again. So it really is getting obvious.
"I-It's really not like that," I tried to smile. "And, it's okay that you asked it."
"Then what is it really like?"
I stared at the boy. Whoa, whoa, where is this coming from?
"It's," Okay Y/N, what excuse are you going to come up to? "I'm really not comfortable around him. That's just it."
He pouted. "Why is that? Is he bugging you about something? Tell me, Y/N-chan. I can ask him."
I smiled at his concern. "Don't worry about it, Yaku."
Closing my textbook and putting it back on my bag, my wristwatch is showing me that it's already 4:40 in the afternoon. It's better for me to go home earlier today and just continue reading my notes in my room. After all, I'm starting to get hungry and I want to eat the pudding I stored at the fridge.
Standing up, I patted his shoulder while giving a very genuine smile.
"If I'm ever avoiding Kuroo, the reason is probably just better if it's kept between both of us. Anyways, see you at the practice tomorrow!"
That's my cue to walk normally out of the library.
I can't spill my secret, our secret. Our past. No matter how much I wanted to open it up to someone and ask what's the best solution for this, I just can't. Probably, not now. I'm not ready yet.
