Passions of Spring

Kabanata 34

Kabanata 34
Letter

Emeterio Ynares, Mama's father entered the room without a warning. He was an old man who still looked good despite his age, with grey hair, light brown eyes, and a sharp straight nose. He was accompanied by two men, his bodyguards I assumed, and told them to man the door outside.

Matiim niyang tinitigan si Mama na inaasikaso pa ng nurse dahil kakatapos lang ng kanyang chemo session.

"I talked to the doctor about your condition, he said if the chemo could shrink your tumor, it will be easier to remove," he entered the room awkwardly, looking at the floor like he lost something. "But he can't permit the operation unless you get slightly better."

"Dad..." Mama was fighting her tears.

"Your daughter could live in the house," he looked at me. "I know they dragged you here in short noticed, did your Tito bought you all you need?"

Nahihiya akong tumango. "Pero dito lang po ako kasama ni Mama."

"You can go to any school you want, money is not a problem anymore," he smiled at me and I felt a chill in my bones. This man was one of the reason why Mama ran away. I can't bring myself to trust him.

"Anak ko si Zelda, Dad. You can't control her like how you controlled me," sabi ni Mama.

"Of course, she can use your trust funds and share of the company. I'm not going to impose myself. I'll call Atty. Lastimosa to arrange all these for you, if you want," sagot ng matanda. "Let's put the past behind us, Via."

Nag-iwas ng tingin si Mama. "Don't call me that! Nasaan si Tomas? What did you do to my husband, dad?"

"I wanted to put him behind bars for what he did to you," he stopped and turned to me, his eyes softened. "But for the sake of your health and my granddaughter, I'll leave him alone as long as Grizelda would stay here with us."

"I want him here. Zelda needs her father."

"I...I'll see what I can do--"

"...means you won't do it," Mama's tears poured down. "You're still the same conceited man I knew. If you really wanted to, you could do it with a snap of your fingers."

Nilapitan ko si Mama para yakapin at pakalmahin. If she keeps getting stressed, her head would hurt again.

I waited for any news about Papa. Wala ni isa sa amin ang nakadala ng telepono dito sa Maynila kaya hindi ko matawagan sina Tita Conching. I didn't memorized any of their numbers, I tried calling my phone but no one answered. Kaya naisip ko magsulat ng liham, ipinadala ko ito sa address namin para siguradong makakarating.

Nag padala ako linggo-linggo para kamustahin sina Papa at balitaan sila sa kalagayan ni Mama. Ibinalita ko rin ang pag pasok ko sa isang prestihiyosong unibersidad sa Maynila para mag-aral ng English Major.

I have written twelve letters in total, but still, none came back. Sobra na akong nag-aalala para kay Papa. He must be so weary and hopeless right now.

"Nagpadala na ba ng sulat si Tomas?" mahinang tanong ni Mama. May mga nakakabit na ventilator sa kanya dahil hirap na siyang huminga mag-isa. Kumalat na raw ang cancer sa kanyang baga at iba pang organs.

"Sakto, Ma. Kakarating lang," I smiled and fetched the letter in my bag.

Mama smiled despite the tube on her lips. "Read it to me, anak."

"Dear Sylvia, ngayong magkalayo tayo natanto ko kung gaano ka kahalaga sa buhay ko. Sa sulat na ito ay pinapadala ko ang aking marubdob na pagmamahal," Natigil ako ng marinig ang mahinang tawa ni Mama, agad uminit ang pisngi ko ngunit nagpatuloy.

"Magkaiba man tayo ng kinagisnan sa buhay, ni minsan ay hindi mo pinaramdam sa akin iyon. Minahal mo ako at tinanggap ng buong puso. Habang buhay akong nagpapasalamat na nakilala kita. Ikaw ang aking lakas. Ikaw ang aking kaligayahan. Hinihintay ko ang iyong pagbalik para bigyan ka ng mahigpit na yakap. Nagmamahal, Tomas."

I looked up at my mother and saw tears flowing down her cheeks while her eyes are closed.

"Mama?"

Hindi siya nagising.

That was when I knew. She had always been a light sleeper, and was not given any sedatives. I touched her hand and they were slack. I did not call the nurses. I sat here for a while with her hands in mine.

"We lived a wonderful life together, Mama, and I will miss you so bad," iniangat ko ang kamay niya at hinagkan. "We'll be okay, you can be at peace now."

I hope she spent her last few minutes thinking about my father. Even if they couldn't be together at her final hour, I hope she didn't waste it thinking of all her regrets. I hope she dreamed of being in my father's arms and thought of all those wonderful moments they spent together.

It's a small hope, and pointless really. But still, I hope.

I folded the paper carefully, nothing but a blank piece, and placed it in between her favorite book. I let her hug the book before I went out to call the staff.