Stronger Than She Looks (Divergent Eric)

{17} Show me what your Mamma gave you

Spending the day with Tris and Christina is a really nice change of pace to how life has been in Dauntless so far. No pressure. Just three girls having a good time doing what girls do best!

Eager to extend our time together as long as possible, we decide to head out for a few drinks after grabbing something to eat. Of course, all of us are keen to wear our new clothes so I agree to meet them back at the Pit at 8pm after I've got changed.

I'm not surprised to find the apartment empty when I get back. No doubt Eric is still working.

Hurrying into the shower, all thoughts of Eric are pushed out of my mind as I relax under the hot water. After the horrific bathroom in the initiate accommodation the luxury of not only a private bathroom but hot water is still a real novelty.

Wrapping myself in a thick towel, I stand in front of the mirror and wonder what to do with my hair. The idea of leaving it down is so foreign to me. Braiding my hair still feels like an intrinsic part of my identity.

The person staring back at me however, is not the person I used to be. Faint shadows of bruises ghost across my cheek bones. Whilst my body is still curvy, I'm leaner than I was, my muscles more developed and my features better defined.

But it's more than that. Despite the outward changes to my appearance, I know better than to believe Dauntless hasn't changed me on a much deeper level.

Tonight though, isn't the night to get philosophical worrying about who I am becoming. Tonight is a night to have fun with friends.

***

I take a final look in the mirror and I'm happy with what I see. The long black maxi dress is simple, but paired with sky high heels and the fact it clings to my every curve, it's pretty striking. I didn't have many points to spare after my clothes, but I bought a little eyeliner and mascara to emphasise my eyes and it's amazing to see the difference it makes.

I've left my hair down, falling to my centre back in natural waves. My Amity conditioning runs deep, it feels like an act of defiance.

Checking the time I see I need to leave if I don't want to be late. Closing the apartment door behind me, I make my way quickly down the dark corridor, not wanting to linger. Ever since the attack I've tried to avoid putting myself in vulnerable situations alone.

I hear footsteps ahead of me before I see who it is. I'm surprised, this is far enough away from the Pit to mean there's normally few people to be found. As I round the corner, I'm even more surprised to see someone dressed in Erudite blue.

Jeanine Matthews.

I glance at the two Dauntless men walking next to her, matching her stride for stride and realise it's Max, and to my complete surprise the other is Eric.

His gaze slides from me as though I'm nobody, and for a moment I feel a bitter stab of rejection deep in the pit of my stomach. I know that he can't acknowledge our relationship, or whatever is happening between us in public, and certainly not in front of Max and Jeanine, but I'd expected him to at least acknowledge that he knows who I am.

Holding my head high, I continue to walk towards them, trying to exude a confidence I don't feel. As we draw closer, I feel his eyes suddenly snap to me and as I glance in his direction realisation of who I am dawns on his face.

If he wasn't with Max and Jeanine, I'd have to laugh. He's staring at me with wide eyes like he can't believe what he's seeing. I guess I must scrub up pretty well!

I don't stop. Neither does he.

As I round the corner and now out of their sight I pause for a minute, my hand resting on the damp cold wall of the corridor. My heart is racing. I have no idea why he has such an effect on me.