Sober |a.k.|

12

i'm typing the a/n up here this time, just to tell you guys im sorry. im still trying to get school stuff worked out, and i haven't been able to write as often/as well as i want to which is kinda demotivating. just know i'm really trying, and i know i keep saying that, but i promise i'll try to do better. i'm sorry if this chapter is shitty. love y'all, enjoy

𝙰𝚠𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

"God, Travis, I was so close!"

He laughed and I rolled my eyes, sitting in my desk chair.

"Literal inches. I made my move!"

"Well, the pizza guy didn't know that."

"Yeah I guess," I sighed, "that didn't stop me from getting mad."

"You didn't.. get mad at him, did you?"

I puffed my cheeks.

"Yeah."

"Awsten!"

"Dude," I sat up in hopes he would hear my posture change to get my point across, "I was so close."

He laughed and cleared his throat.

"Maybe, but the pizza guy didn't know that. You should've been nicer."

"I guess. At least I left a pretty good tip."

"So uh," Travis began after a couple moments of silence, "when- or how did you guys meet again?"

"Abby and I?"

"Yeah."

I smiled.

"Well, we were both at Elijah's party. He invited us to help set up but I guess we stuck around for whatever reason. I'd seen her making fun of Kellen and I thought she was funny but we didn't really talk until she walked out into the kitchen around 1 and said she was leaving. Me being me, I made sure she wasn't fucked up or anything when she asked about her keys."

"So responsible," he laughed at me.

"Shut up, anyway," I grinned, "she said no and I found out she was sober too. I thought it was cool. I thought she was cool but I was knew to LA and still a little on the fence, ya'know?"

"Mhm."

"So the next day, I got a call from a hung over Elijah asking if I could help clean up and an hour later she showed up. Her friend dropped her off on their way home from work so she needed a ride. Then we went into Target-"

"Oh yeah, and then you wrote Telephone about her."

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"How-"

"Jawn."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm gonna kill him. But yeah, she went through the music section and she was... pretty. And she was funny and seemed cool, so I asked her for her number that night."

"And you still aren't dating."

"Dude I'll fuckin' hang up on you."

He let out a loud laugh again.

"But no, I haven't asked her out. God, but I do remember all the times I almost did, I just wanted us to talk more. I could've asked her out that night at Target. She was tired but happy and she was just cute. I don't know man."

"Well," it sounded like he was smiling, "I'm happy for you. I know it's been hard since..."

The silence that followed felt deafening and awkward.

"But uh, hey, don't fuck it up next time, okay?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"Got it dude."

After we hung up I didn't really know what to do.

I guess I could write.

But I've been doing that for the past week. I could call Abby but I'd feel annoying. I guess today is just a down day. I'll try and relax.

Which ended up not working.

I tried to relax but couldn't seem to get my mind to stop racing. I thought about cooking but I wasn't hungry. I've already completed all of my puzzles, I was alone so it's not like I could play a board game and television didn't sound like much fun.

So, writing it is.

I walked into my office and pulled out my guitar and starting mindlessly plucking on strings. Humming random things that came to mind until something sounded good, thinking about potential lyrics, it was all fun but I'd been doing it nonstop lately and I feel like if you're going to continue to love your job, you shouldn't work all the time.

"Maybe I could go for a drive?" I asked myself out loud.

I stood up and walked to where I had my keys hanging up. I grabbed my wallet and phone and walked out the door.

Seeing a movie would be a nice treat but watching a movie in the theater by yourself is kind of sad. Maybe next time. I could just go treat myself to some coffee or some shit but that's boring as hell. Ya'know, fuck it, I might just go drive around. That's fine I guess, it's something to do. Think about ideas for songs. Then I could get a coffee because then it wouldn't be just a coffee. Cool.

I pulled into the Starbucks drive through because I didn't feel like going inside and ordered my drink. I then looked up "fun places to see LA" like a tourist or whatever which was funny but at least it was something. I decided to go drive down Sunset Boulevard first. I mean, it was fine, I just got bored really quickly. My brain was just being slow today and that's okay. I wish I had a dog. 

After driving aimlessly around LA for an hour and a half, I was delighted to get a call from Kellen asking me if I wanted to hang out with him and Abby. Abby said she was busy today so I was bummed to hear she was hanging out with Kellen, but I guess it kinda makes sense because we've hung out almost every day lately. 

I slowly made my way through traffic to Kellen's house and in a reasonable 20 minutes I arrived.

"Hey-"

"WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!" Abby yelled and threw her arms around me.

I laughed.

"Okay, why?"

She backed up and I smiled at her outfit. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a sunflower crop top, something I watched her debate on buying for 45 minutes on night. 

"Because I've literally never-"

"WHAT!?" Kellen yelled.

"Yeah," she said, turning to him, "I thought you knew that?"

"NO?"

"Okay, well, I've never been. So we're going."

"Lemme just get my shit together, hold up," Kellen said from his bedroom.

"So, you just didn't wanna hang out or what," I asked, jokingly.

She raised an eyebrow before smiling and shoving my shoulder.

"No, that's not it. I was busy and now I'm not. I got to Kell's house like, an hour ago."

"Mhm."

"I did," she laughed, "believe me or not."

I smiled at her and we just kinda got lost staring at each other. I can't believe shit like this happens in real life, not just movies.

"Alright lovebirds, break it up," Kellen interrupted, walking out of his room, "let's go to motherfucking Disneyland." 

***
(september 14, 2020)