𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐦𝐛 | 𝐇. 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑

[ 10 ]

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏. His mind was racing, remorse was heavy within him and he'd never felt more hollow than he did now. After years of being a ruthless lawyer he'd half expected to become numb over the years, but even after the amount of lives he'd probably ruined and manipulative rich people he'd defended, never had he felt worse than he did now. Because it wasn't some stranger looking at him like he'd ruined their life, it was the one woman who he still loved.

Her disappointment had stayed with him, the betrayal clear on her face. All he'd wanted was to help her, and yet he'd only managed to push her away - it was thanks to him that she most likely felt secluded rather than supported. His stomach churned at the thought that he was responsible for her isolation, that he'd hurt the person he loved rather than protected her. Come to think of it, when had he put her needs before his own? He'd disappeared off to Harvard, sacrificing their relationship to advance his career, and when he got back, he never made an effort to find her, arguably avoiding her. When had he actually done something for her benefit?

Maybe he wasn't cut out to love someone.

Harvey's eyes squeezed shut at the thought. The only pulse that had got him through all these years was the prospect of a future with Marilyn. He had the entire thing pictured out, had dreamt of it from the minute that he left for Harvard. Nothing had disrupted his vision, not his battle to get his name on the door, not her engagement, and this didn't either. Everything was still crystal clear in his mind, he just couldn't guarantee that Marilyn felt the same way after what he'd done.

The uncertainty was murderous. But nothing could make him leave. He wasn't going to leave her now - that would be the iceberg to their Titanic. Plus, he'd built his entire life on the hope that he'd be able to share it with her someday. That was all he'd ever wanted, all he'd ever yearned for. What would his life become if the root of his success was no longer present? What would his life be without Marilyn in it? He'd only just found Marilyn, since he'd been too cowardly to do all those years ago, and he wasn't going to lose her again. He refused to. It was no secret that Harvey was scared of failure, and he was determined to swerve this disaster away from it, no matter what.

After a quick glance at the clock, he got out of bed and decided to brew himself a coffee. He was in two minds about whether he was going to walk into work in a few hours, but was certain that he wasn't going to be able to sleep this feeling off. His body was completely restless, his mind crippling with guilt but also fear...at the thought that he'd ruined the one thing he genuinely wanted. Whilst he certainly didn't need the caffeine, Harvey was in dire need for the bitterness to hit him massively and hopefully trigger his thought process. He had to find a way out of this mess and reassure Marilyn that he wasn't simply there to squeeze the truth out of her.

The first thing he did before walking into the kitchen was grab his watch from his bedside table, the feel of the tattered leather strap against his wrist all that he needed to take a deep breath. He hoped that Marilyn would wear her earrings tomorrow, just like she had always done.