california world - dreamnotfound

night out

pity party live at the smell 7/30/2016 on youtube, time stamp 3:17 :')

"come on! before they start dude!"

nick is violently tugging us both along behind him. all three of us are already tipsy and warmed up for the show. occasional guitar riffs, countdowns and mic checks echo out from the run down building. a fairly large crowd of people are starting to file in through the entrance, filling up the room inside.

nick's sudden excitement throws me off since he in general has been acting very strange today. when me and clay came back from the grocery store, i found him moping around in the cramped motel bathroom, looking more down than ever.

i tried to ask him what was wrong, but he just brushed it off and put on an obviously fake smile. my heart hurt a little seeing him like that, clearly something was bothering him. i gave him a hug, told him he could talk to me about anything. still he kept insisting everything was in order.

i shouldn't be worrying about today's small discrepancy in his behavior. we're here to have fun and besides, he looks happier now. though the thought still persists in the back of my mind.

we squeeze through the doorway, merging with the impressively big crowd inside. the air is hot and heavy, but it's just like what i'm used to. nick keeps pulling us closer to the little homemade stage so we'll get a better view of the band.

clay pokes me, points towards our friend and wheezes at his cute enthusiasm. i shrug, just grinning at the normality of his actions. when is nick not a happy-go-lucky soul?

"hey julian!" he shouts, getting the attention of the lead singer who swiftly turns his microphone away.
"nick? what the fuck man, you're alive! it's been ages!"

the black haired man kneels down to greet nick with a handshake.

"how's shit going?"
"could be better, as always. but it feels like i'm on the right path."
"stay on it man, you've always been a good kid. god bless you," julian says, adjusting the mic stand once again to introduce his friend to the audience.

"alright, listen up everybody," he begins, speakers crackling, "this is my buddy nick, and he's homeless. he's been homeless for god knows how long and he's still enjoying life, he's still here tonight and he's still standing so give him a fucking applause!"

all the people cheer and whistle, me and clay included. i take a small sip from my self-made witch potion of vodka and snapple juice, barely flinching at the burning taste. clay gives me an offended look, snatching the bottle out of my grasp and gulping down two whole mouth fulls. so that's how he wants to do it.

we push closer to the stage when nick waltzes over to us again. he's beaming like the sun, and i instantly get the feeling that tonight's gonna be the best night in a long time.

"this first song's called night out," julian exclaims, strumming his guitar to create a familiar riff. maybe i do remember this band after all.

i hold onto clay tightly to prevent myself from falling as the crowd goes wild. nick is already moshing and i feel dizzy. it doesn't take long for me to pull myself together and get into it, and clay quickly loosens up too. we let ourselves go.

"tell me baby that i'm on your mind
and it happens all the time,
oh oh
through my bloodshot eyes,
tell me baby that you'll never let go
i've got it under control,
oh oh"

i'm lost in a sea of chaos, and i love it. the kicks it's giving me are insane. clay looks just as ecstatic and lawless. his wavy hair has stuck to his forehead and his skin is a glowing, clammy mess. bodies are being thrown left and right, tempting me to do a stage dive myself.

a short girl lands on top of me and clay, and as the gentleman he is he carefully helps set her down on the floor when she's had her fun. she winks at him, blonde hair flowing before dancing her way back over to her little squad on the sidelines.

"she's got a ride out
and she's coming to my house
she spent the night out,
she was moaning really loud
oh i've got it goin' for me
oh i, i've got it goin' for me"

my movements are uncoordinated and sloppy as i crawl up on stage. i can feel the alcohol kicking in more and more. clay's cackling at my feeble attempts and helpfully gives me a push, right on my ass. it doesn't feel accidental at all, and i find myself enjoying the sensation perhaps a bit too much. no time to think about that when you've gotta pull off a stage dive though.

timed perfectly with the music i launch backwards into the thick mass of people. hands end up everywhere, carrying my weight. i scream out of pure delirium. i'm floating, literally. my body is starting to go numb. a guy holding me up is suddenly pushed, and the imbalance created as a result makes me crash to the ground. i guess i had to come down eventually anyway.