The Tour

seventeen / phantoms

I was walking through the halls of the hospital, just like usual. Actually, it was slightly unusual in the fact that I hadn't been there for over twenty four hours. The interaction with Will's mom had been awkward enough the day before, and I had no desire to chance an encounter with her while Will was awake.

Her teasing could be brutal. I had already seen it come out on the few occasions that Noah had girlfriends. She could always tell before anyone else when he liked someone, and she took it upon herself to let her son know that she knew.

Along with strategically avoiding any uncomfortable conversations in the hospital yesterday, I had chosen to take on the task of cleaning out the backyard. I hadn't yet mustered up the initiative to move out, which was made even less inspiring by the fact that my brother still lived at home when he came back from college. Unfortunately, that meant that I was left to hold up my end of the household chores, which I had been neglecting for the past few months.

My kind father decided that this earned me the right to clean up the backyard, which was now in a state of disarray due to a storm that came through a few weeks ago. The entire day was filled with me picking up sticks, raking leaves, and mowing the lawn. Needless to say, it was a legitimate reason to not go to the hospital.

While yesterday was nice, today was a different matter. I felt bad thinking about Will being stuck alone in his room (or worse, with more of those sorority girls), and had also decided that I would have to face any teasing at some point.

However, teasing was the last thing on my mind when I turned into his room. He was sitting on his bed facing me, but he was leaning down. Will's arms were wrapped tightly around his legs, and his veins were prominently visible due to the pressure that he was exerting on them. His head was down and resting on his knees, and from what I could see it looked like his teeth were clenched.

"Will, are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?" I looked around quickly for a nurse but didn't see anyone in the hallway.

"Oh, hey. No, it's okay," he spoke up, voice slightly muffled.

I was almost nervous to get closer to him. Will was one of the happiest kids that I knew growing up, and nothing had ever changed that even as he got older. The world was his playground, and even as things had gotten more serious with baseball he still acted like he was a kid enjoying rec ball.

Nothing had prepared me for seeing him so broken, both literally and emotionally. I had no idea how to behave around him, or what he even wanted from the people around him. Crossing my fingers that he didn't want to be left alone, I walked over and sat on the foot of the bed.

"What's wrong? I can leave if you want me too..."

"Have you heard of phantom pain?" He asked, head still down and supported by his knees.

"Like when amputees have missing limbs that hurt?" I verified.

"Well," he chuckled dryly before wincing again, "turns out you can have that even when your limbs aren't missing. The doctors already know, there's just not much that they can do."

I frowned, leaning forward to rest my hand over his that was still gripping his knee. Will turned his own over and gripped mine tightly.

"You're welcome to stay, but talking is taking a lot of effort so I won't be too interesting."

I nodded and turned back to look out the window. Every few minutes or so he would tense up and squeeze my hand tighter before relaxing a bit. Time blended together, and when I heard a knock on the door I noticed that it was already passed five.

Noah poked his head in, the grin on his face quickly vanishing when he took in the scene. "What happened?" he asked quietly, looking at me.

"Phantom pain," I supplied, glancing at Will who had finally leaned back in the bed, releasing my hand while doing so. He offered a humorless smile to his brother, whose expression had transformed in frustration.

"Again?" Noah burst out, clearly frustrated that this was not the first instance of the pain."They can't do anything about it?"

"It's not even real, Noah! It's not real!" Will was basically yelling at this point. His brother's emotions seemed to have triggered his own outburst.

Noah walked to the window and put his hands behind his head, blowing air out of his mouth. "This is insane," he said quietly, looking out at the coast.

"You mean you didn't see 'become an older brother to a disabled kid' when you checked your calendar for this year?" Will said stoically.

Noah turned around. "Shut up kid, you're going to be fine. And while I am still convinced that you're going to walk again, I still love you even if I have to push you around for the rest of your life. It just sucks."

"Can't argue with that," Will agreed.

"So, you feeling better now?" Noah asked. Will looked much more relaxed now, and he nodded in confirmation.

"If he was still in as much pain as before and he talked to you that much I would have been pissed," I said, looking between the two. "He didn't talk to me for at least two hours."

"It was going on for that long?" Noah asked, getting emotional again before he was silenced with a look from Will. "Right, nevermind. Wanna go for a walk?"

Will nodded again and looked at me for confirmation. I shrugged, "You guys should go, have some bro time. Besides, I have to get to this dinner thing with one of the Ripcurl reps."

"Oh, okay, good luck with that then," Noah said as he carefully watched Will, who was transitioning from the bed to the wheelchair.

"We'll see you later then I guess," Will answered once he had properly situated himself in the chair. He was getting smoother, which seemed to appease Noah at least.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow probably," I called while exiting the room.

"I would hope that the girl who fell asleep in my brother's hospital bed would come see him tomorrow," Noah yelled when I turned the corner into the hallway.

I immediately stopped where I was and backed up in order to fix Noah with a glare. Noah was beside himself with laughter. Unable to help myself, I laughed along with him.

Will joined in as he looked up at his brother. They had a knack for setting each other off, and before I knew it both of them were dissolved in laughter.

"Your mom told you guys?" I asked, propping myself up against the doorway.

"Wouldn't quit talking about how cute you guys were when she got home. That, and the fact that she didn't realize that it was you at first and she was very concerned about who was in her son's bed."

Will nodded in affirmation. "She showed up the next morning and told me that I had taken long enough to make a move. Poor woman was crushed when I told her I was just trying to be nice because your legs were stiff."

"Sheesh, this is the problem with hanging out with you guys. It's impossible to live my life without people assuming that we're dating," I laughed.

"Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for you guys," Noah trailed off, innocently looking at us and then at the ceiling after he received two sets of eye rolls.

"Okay, let's get going on this walk or whatever I'm supposed to call it," Will changed the subject.

"Yep, I was just leaving. This was fun guys," I said as I walked back out the door, fighting off the slight blush that I felt forming.

Thanks for reading all :) this will probably be the last regular update for a bit bc im back at school, but I'm hoping to be updating soon! Either way, I promise I'm not abandoning this.

Also realized that I should add that I'm not a doctor, so while I've done some research for this (just a tad), some things may not be completely accurate in regards to healthcare.