My husband's regret

chapter ten

Ambrose and Sander rushed to find Alexander but upon arriving they didn't even remember why they got there in the first place. The sleeping figure of the two made them feel like an intruder trespassing the forbidden area so they swiftly turned to leave. But the annoying figure who just returned after finishing the call didn't think as they did. Instead Sam's face contorted into an angry scowl upon seeing the seen.

"How dare that rascal take advantage of the innocent Faith girl. It seems My beating isn't enough for him. I will teach him a lesson so hard that he can't forget" saying all this without a breath Sam leaped into the room like a leopard but in the next second he was pulled away by a strong arm and his mouth was covered by a big palm. Ambrose was beyond annoyed by this lean fellow.
"Do you have a death wish?" Ambrose hissed. Without waiting for another second he dragged the leany fellow further away from the sleeping figures to give a piece of his mind. Sander tagged along with the two silently.

Alexander was a light sleeper. Sensing the  movements of the three he stirred from his sleep reluctantly. Seeing his sleeping angel in a deep slumber, there was an indescribable warmth inside his heart. He slowly lifted his hand and caressed her  soft pink cheeks.

With a glance at his watch, he realised he slept for a full two hours. He tiptoed to a glass cupboard where he kept his Faith's diary. Locking the bedroom door he returned to back to his Faith with the diary.

He wanted to badly read the dairy from the moment he knew it contained his Faith's memory. He wanted to get a glimpse of her thoughts and feelings. What has she gone through to become like this? Can she ever come back to me again or will she never forgive me? He wanted to know millions of things about her but there was no other way for him to know that unless he reads that diary. He opened the first page but that action alone took him about 10 minutes.

Alexander's heartbeat was beating so fast that he feared it might jump out of his chest. 

Keeping a hand over his chest to calm down his breathing he started reading her writing.

Each word he read stabbed him right in his heart a million times.

Why God? What wrong did I do wrong? Why should you punish me like this? Am I that much of a Sinner?

I thought atlast you showed mercy on me. I thought you didn't abandon me like my parents.

I persevered in this world against all obstacles all this year's only in the Faith of you. Whenever anyone calls me my name I always think of my faith in you.

But now, nothing is left in me. Nothing. I feel so empty. I feel feel suffocated. I can't breath , I don't want to be like this. I really don't.

Even though I know you won't help me, I still  wanted to ask you one last request.

Can you please give in to me this once?  I had enough. I really had enough. I have no more strength left in me. I just wanted to end this suffering of mine for now and forever. Why don't you give me a way to relief. What have I really done to deserve to end up in this state? I really want an answer. Atleast then I can accept my ending with peace.

Do you really have a heart?

Alexander could see the traces of dried tears on the page. His hands were trembling. He already knew he hurt her but knowing and personally reading her written diary was both different. He could feel her despair in life. His heart bled for her. How deep must have she be hurt to lost her Faith in God?

How come he say he didn't love me? Didn't he say that I was everything to him. Didn't he say that he will hold my hand in sickness and in health? Why isn't he holding my hands now? Where has he gone when I needed him?

I miss my husband. I wanted to go back to him. But i know he doesn't need me like i do. I don't want to be without him. But what choice do I have? I don't want him to loath me more than he already does. I thought he was happy with me all these years. I was in a delusion thinking that my presence makes him feel happiness and joy.

I never in my wildest dream thought that I was the obstacle blocking him from his happiness. I feel guilty for marrying him. Alexi was... no Alexander was a very good person. I suppose I don't even have any rights to call him in that way anymore.

Even though he loves Tania he still married me. If I knew he was in love with another woman I swear I wouldn't have married him no matter how much I loved him. If Tania didn't tell me about it I wouldn't even have known this. Even though some part me hates him for betraying my love I couldn't deny that he was a very good husband to me. Even though my life seems broken beyond repair I still cherish those wonderful moments. It's just that all those happy moments with him was all one sided. Was he grieving for his lost love when we were together hugging and kissing! While we were making love did he miss his lover? I feel so disgusted with myself. Maybe he wasn't has happy as I thought he was. Maybe I was so deeply soaked in my own little bubble of  happiness that I must have thought every one was as happy as me.

Maybe I do deserve all this pain and betrayal. If I wasn't there being pitiful in front of him, maybe he might have had a happy family with his love. They might have even had a child.

But my presence alone destroyed their happiness. Tania was very good to me. She treated me as a good sister and friend. But I had snatched her man from her. But even then she didn't blame me. It shows the difference between us. If it was me I definitely would fought with the third party who comes between me and Alexander.
I just realised now that I don't deserve Alexander. Even though it pains me to accept, I can't deny that Alexander and Tania really looked great together in the invitation card. I wish them happiness.

I am so useless. I can't even keep one person in my life. Even my husband left me. I Can't stop hating myself for my incapability.

Reading this Alexander was confused. I love Tania? What invitation? What nonsense !! It doesn't make sense to him.

Even after all that he did Faith still wished for his happiness. She didn't hate him as he thought she would. This realisation didn't made him feel one bit happy on the contrary his heart was bleeding. It would have been better if she hated him and blamed him. But the sad truth was that she didn't. Instead she started hating herself, putting all the blame on her own head. That was equal to self destruction. Alexander's eyes were blood shot red.

TANIA he despised that name from the very cell of his body. If she didn't do anything. His Faith would have still loved him. She would've been healthy and happy. She would have gave birth to his child and they would have had a happy family. But that bitch destroyed his love,his family. He loathed her to his very bone. "You wait, I will not let you get away after messing with my family" he vowed.

I will right all my wrongs. I will make sure you understand that I loved you. I was the happiest man in earth during those beautiful years. I was more happy than you can possibly imagine when we were loving each other baby. I miss those moments. There's no place for anyone in my heart other than you. 

Looking at the sleeping beauty his heart warmed. "At last I found you my love" he whispered softly bending down. He placed his thin lips to the soft red lips of her sealing their reunion with kiss.

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Hey guys hope you like this chapter. Pls vote, comment and share. Thanks for the 27k reads.

A week ago I got a message from w e b n o v e l s wanting me to sign a contract with them regarding publishing my book. What do you think? Is this a scam or something?