Mom (Kellic)

9.

~Vic pov~
When I get home I head straight to my room and flop on the bed, so many different things rattling around in my brain.

Kellin's cheek looks really bad and it's obvious by the shifty behavior that someone did it to him. I wish he wouldn't lie to me.

More than anything I'm just thinking about being Kellin's boyfriend. He asked me to truly consider what it would be like, which is hard to do. My mind immediately fills with thoughts of hanging out and holding hands and just knowing that he's mine, but those are all the nice things about a relationship. What would it actually be like?

I know for sure that I'm attracted to him and he seems open to being physically intimate with me. Will he be able to do that though? It's clear that he's been through some abuse, and is sadly still enduring it. Will touching and having sex trigger him? Will he be embarrassed by scars and bruises? Will I be able to get over my own scars?  Am I actually gonna be okay with that? These are hard questions to answer because I just desperately want to date him. I guess if he decides he would be okay with it then we'll work through everything else. I'm not some kind of monster, I can live without being physical with someone. 

I can't even begin to consider his coping mechanisms or what would happen if I went back to San Diego. All I know for sure is that we could work it out. I want to date him. 

The next day I'm on my way to school when I hear the familiar sound of Kellin's steps rushing to catch up with me. He looks really hot today, his hair is fixed and he's in black skinny jeans and a thick black sweater. His cheek is a nasty shade of yellow with purple edges, but I try not to focus on it, instead, my eyes wander over his plump lips and his rosy cheeks.

"Good morning," he says, sounding really cheery. He usually looks and sounds like shit in the morning so I'm surprised by how clear his eyes are. He's lazily smoking a cigarette and there's a small smile resting on his lips.

"Morning, you seem happy."

He looks down, kicking a rock with the toe of his shoe and hiding a smile.

"Yeah, it's crazy how good it feels to not be hungover."

So that's the difference.

"I like it when you take care of yourself."

He just nods and takes a drag.

"Could we talk after school? Like, maybe at that place in the park or something?"

This could either be a really good sign or a really bad sign. Or maybe unrelated. Maybe he wants to talk about something else or just hang out. I shouldn't get my hopes up that he's made a decision after one day.

"Sure, wanna meet after class and walk together?"

"Yeah."

My day fucking drags on. I can't pay attention in class and at lunchtime I'm trying to read into every word that leaves Kellin's lips. By the time I'm waiting outside of his last class I'm jittery with nervous energy. I need to calm the fuck down. As I considered earlier, maybe this isn't even about us. God, I hope it is though.

He's late getting out of class so I peek in and see him sitting across from Mr. Iero's desk, frowning and studying his hands.

"Hey, ready to go?" He asks when he comes out.

"Yep, what took so long? Everyone else left five minutes ago."

"Mr. Iero was threatening to fail me again."

"Why?"

We start strolling down the hall and toward the doors.

"You know, not paying attention, sleeping in class, my aversion to homework."