Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 19.

As I watched Evan's car ride away, my heart sunk. Did he really leave? I looked at my Mom, trying not to shed a tear in front of her. My Mom looked satisfied, but she looked more angry. As for me, I felt broken. Evan knows the truth, and as if that's not bad enough, he left because of it. After our one most intimate night, he left. Did being deaf really matter that much?

"He dates perfect girls, and by dates I mean sleeps with them and basically drops them."

Summer's words were ringing in my head. I should of known things between us were too good to be true. But the thing is that things were good, they were perfect, but they were also true. I know they were true, and I'm not just saying that to ease my guilt into losing  my virginity.

Right before Evan found out about me being deaf, things were real between us. He felt something for me, and he didn't just want to drop me like the other girls. But now that he knows the truth, and knows that I'm not as "perfect" as he thought I was, he left. And I know I should be happy, because that action should show me that he doesn't care much about me and I should get over him, but I can't. I am in love with Evan Moore, even know that he left when he found out the truth. It makes me more upset than angry with him.

Without saying anything I stormed inside the house, and I was positive my Mom was behind me. I wanted to just walk into my room and cry my eyes out, but I decided not to. I had too much anger to just cry it out, I needed my Mom to hear me out, so she knows how much she hurt me.

I paced back and forth in the little hall  between the living room, and the kitchen. I wanted to tell my Mom everything that was on my mind, but I wasn't sure how. I stopped mid pace and turned around to see if she was standing there, and she was. She looked mad, and it seemed like I wasn't the only one about to blow up.

"I can't believe you Mom!" I exclaimed not able to take it.

"You can't believe me?" Mom signed. "I can't believe you! You lied to me Luna!"

I ran a hand through my hair, dropping the beanie on my head to the floor. I didn't bother to pick it up.

"I did and I'm sorry! But you wouldn't listen to reason!" I shouted. Mom crossed her arms over her chest, and I swore I was able to see her blood boiling.

"What reason would that be Luna? Evan is the bad guy, he's bad for you! If I wouldn't of told him he would of hurt you worse than he did now!" Mom signed and possibly shouted.

"He hurt me because you told him!" I paused. "If you wouldn't of he would still be here! Mom, I love you, but all I did was ask for this one thing. All I wanted to do was be with Evan, and once we were in a good position I would of told him myself."

Mom rolled her eyes, looking almost shocked at me.

"That was one thing? Luna, everything I do is for you and-"

"No it's not!" I interrupted.

"Yes it is Luna! You're just too selfish to see it! Evan reminds me so much of your Dad! You know? The one who got me pregnant and left us to do who knows what? Luna, I wanted to protect you from that, from him." Mom put her hands down, as if telling me she was done talking.

"Mom, everything you do is for you, and everything I do is for you too. Moving around was for your career, and you think that was for me? Me being home schooled was no benefit either! Mom, I loathed homeschooling, but I didn't tell you because I knew it would interfere with your career. I know you had me when you were my age, or younger. I know I wasn't the best mistake, but you have to know that I feel bad. I'm sorry, but I really tried putting your needs before mine. Sorry, I just wanted this one thing for myself."